1.20.2009

Revision Edition: Ballads of Too Early Destiny

BALADA TAKDIR TERLALU DINI
By Nurel Javissyarqi
Translator By Agus B. Harianto

A bit prologue
By Suryanto Sastroatmodjo

First publication at May 2001
(Published by FKKH Yogyakarta)
Second publication, January 2006
(Published by PUstaka puJAnga & Lintang Sastra Yogya).

Publisher by PUstaka puJAngga
JL. Raya Sukodadi- Sunan Drajad,
Kendal Kemlagi, Karanggeneng, Lamongan,
East Java, Indonesia.

ISBN: 978-979-9758-19-7
Pustaka_pujangga@yahoo.com
www.pustakapujangga.com

“The book is not only accost,
but also the medium of doing conversation with the world.”

This book is dedicated to the time that ever lost. Therefore find “I”, in order you get the honor, which never been exist; before and after Him give the destiny to you.

Table of Content:

*A Bit Prologue (By Suryanto Sastroatmodjo).
*Ballad on Sand’s Hill of Hurricane.
*Ballad of Jala Suta.
*Ballad of Flower Lotus.
*Ballad of Crazy Man Accosts You.
*Ballad of Too Early Destiny.
*The Water Zam- Zam For You.
*To J.W.V.Goethe; I.
*TO J.W.V.Goethe; II.
*Nietzsche, I Stay in Diet.
*Craziness of Vincent Van Gogh.
*A Short Script: ZAITUN, Light Beyond the Light.
*The Explanation of the Ballads Book
*Epilogue From the Writer (Nurel Javissyarqi)


A Bit Prologue
Suryanto Sastroatmodjo

The craziness leads to one hole,
doesn’t seen but felt,
digs the own grave in the entrenchment of ground,
uncovers the great grand mother; all kind of bones are breaking uncommonly,
spread around, be collapsed suppressed by the war. Where doesn’t change,
become the digger for the all brothers. (The Crazy Man Accost You: XXXVII).

There is a slight intonation from the pulling of the poetry above, where the poet Nurel Javissyarqi gives a musing. But however that is, please allow me to collect the effort of those musing, as one of unique metaphors; that, there is the time for human kind discusses about the happening of craziness of life. Or some kind of vague atmosphere of a monument from the fighting back of history, that a reality is not only had to pointed at, judged. But, also must cross over it as el ultima factum; the time (second) where must admitted that seem highest fact is a striping of fate’s line.

We can be crazy suddenly, temporarily or all the time; how far the fact is from el- maut (death). The poet Nurel Javissyarqi, that before using name Nurla Gautama (the name was gave by the short stories writer, Joni Ariadinata) in this anthology. Well, how eroded the live is without the burial digger, and without the care about the bones that almost become dust. As if we could at once “become crazy” temporarily, in order to be able to “dig” the memories of universe. Certainly the plays of universe could be decided according to the line of flexible destiny, empty, relatively.

The matter is, when the human become the founder of the actual ideas (the past assumed as the best). Therefore, I and me my self, as if the part of the fate’s gradation that up to the mind of my own heart; where the feet will go? Too early destiny, perhaps as the nervous implementation of the poet whose tried to scrape for the presence of wandering of the great grand wide. But he doesn’t pick up the stars from the strange sky, but the firmament of ancestors, the nearest space of culture.

Sometimes, he must write how much the grade of “him self” the certainty of poor fate, while the behavior of luck is lying across of the mysteriousness of God. The end greeting, my well manner best friend, please delve the emptiness of this live, in order that the push- pull and the tensions between the crazy man and the submission man in the impermanence universe can find the meaning; the fact is, any one whoever that is must sail the mind’s dugout of heart’s light.

Nagan Lor, April 14, 2001. Yogyakarta.



Ballad on the Sand’s Hill of Hurricane
Nurel Javissyarqi

(I) The one who retraces the muddy sand of seashore,
climbs the hills of yearning,
and the wind always wipes my feet;
alike a princess caresses my forehead,
when the sweat is starting to come out
and then become steam quickly together with it.

(II) He is alike wanderer
is shaded under the old trembesi ,
the light of sun is going to the afternoon,
sings the gray ballad of romance;
and where is the beginning,
the living place of the world for should be?

(III) I am the weather of dry; write the poem of south sea,
move the paper of this letters,
which have the spirit of a form of creature,
then they are lulled by the wind of beach.

(IV) When the dark cloud is in long deep bowing,
be pulled by a throng of storm,
the sound of golden chariot is visiting the throne;
remains the past of I make the daydreaming of the world!

(V) The morning is also soft, there is some one is whispered behind,
a group of girls is talking about me, when on the hills of your sand.

(VI) Thousands pairs of eyes peep at the fate and my soul,
my nervousness is mixed with happiness,
because the rhythm of loyal sky’s flute gives the news,
alike the news that never end.

(VII) At a cluster of sand’s hill, I hear the thunderous of surge,
and then flutters, rumbles behind your heart;
the sound of bell much longer is louder,
the jingle of concert of gamelan music gets higher, be alike hill of guitars;
I am hunted by the shadow of death.

(VIII) The old wanderer is got hurry to step,
harrows the grass to safe the fauna;
I cross over the shadow of the sun,
be soft wiped by the wind of valley for always.

(IX) The head is took by the heart, enjoys my live,
the yearning specter of your time is ripped;
even your looking is far away be lost in thought,
but my only one wing, is never you paid attention of it.

(X) The leafs of acacia are flopped by the wind of alliance,
the vomit of wave erodes the rigidity,
and doesn’t felt; the sand whom you usually blow
is more burying my musing.

(XI) I tell you what, says the greeting for me to remember always; then
look at the small birds pass over and at once flopped in the air,
its noisy sound is disappeared, together with the spell of worship that ever pass.

(XII) In front of me, a male horse scrapes for its fate,
be lonely, because its feet are not similar like the power of young,
will it can lick the sky
a flaring of stove of kawah candradimuka.

(XIII) Slow down sweetheart, don’t chased your fear will be lonely pain by your self,
because at the armpit of those wings are inserted a pair of gleam knifes,
takes the soul of the one who falls asleep.

(XIV) You may do it,
becuae in your bosom the fate is quickly changed,
but do a wise thing, similar like the wind of bridge,
which always fans your trip.

(XV) Your long hair, lets it hang loosely, don’t
you pay good attention to the eyeballs follows your existence,
because you are blanketed by me with impressive mysteriousness
whom I never did to them.

(XVI) The thing that you do is as holy as noble wish;
the scholars in the cage,
or the east bird be freely to travel.
Inside of you, there is complete hesitation
which can unite the east- west,
and you will be like that forever.

(XVII) As a rhyme with the air,
this cloud of sadness follows the times that they must pass over it,
while you are, the fascinated symbol.

(XVIII) From far, the wind is howling fast; more than ten
wave is ready to assault the camps with stiffly shed,
it also will clutch the sand’s grains of humanity.

(XIX) In here you stay far away from the world of noisy,
while they are only recording the hurricane,
mean while you are developing the storm
a numerical wind teaches to you;
from the far edge you felt those,
then be memorized by the love on the honesty.

(XX) The yowling of dog seizures my devoutness,
I know the energy of its sound is helped by the wind of your everlasting;
gendings is soft for a while and then becoming like bell,
me also as the power of hurricane that you are copulated,
and doesn’t felt the wind of beach become the Master Teacher
when your heart is as cool as the snow.

(XXI) In at once comb your hair even for a while,
as same direction with the wind invites you to go far with it,
even though will return in thoroughly confused for later;
the thing you do,
similar like the fishes live in the bottom of the ocean,
need to breathe, as holy as the human being breathes the pulse of universe.

(XXII) The soft of that sand’s grains
is higher, the soft of shawl is flied by,
motivates to accost trough the letters had decided by God
for the sacrifice of your soul- my soul,
and your breath is my breath in the world of stage.

(XXIII) At the fontanel of my head,
the cloud incarnates become nets of space
more quickly to spread around,
its willing is me as its capture,
for the sacrificing on the temple’s altar of the gods;
but there is another power prevents,
until I was missed from the jail,
because The Time (God) is not pleased yet.

(XXIV) The one who creates the time
becomes the flowers of beach’s dweller;
he is the figure of garden keeper,
sits down lonely enjoys the fragrant of flower,
from one season to another season;
and then the skin of spirit is spellbound and enchants.

(XXV) Back to look at you,
the dancing of the palm’s leafs is harmonious with the time gets blue,
follows the rhythm of heard wavelength
from behind the hill of the world;
the soft of it has curtain,
while you, how many level you had passed over the curtain?

(XXVI) When the mouth is being dumb, I read her eyeball,
her polite hand is so soft, there is never boring waiting
waits for the pretty one comes to visit you;
the green leaf is shined, the pure dew becomes crystal.

(XXVII) My brother,
move your sitting place a bit even for a while,
actually behind the back of hill,
the fertile trees are shoots each other,
stands clearly on the wind’s flopping of your inner heart,
but do you know? And do you think about them?
It does that, waits for your attending,
your friendly embracing,
before the separation of destiny engages.

(XXVIII) You shouldn’t stop until that way,
because the spirit in your bosom is ready to help,
as if the time always new aims to the youth of light.

(XXIX) If you are taking peace by peace the outpouring strings
from the love and lave of rain to you, that is still exist.

(XXX) The one who’s usually in the isolated world, why still have nervous?
Then want to finish the grace of loving vibration?
The fact is already a lot of powers that you had took from its passion;
doesn’t it only feel bad to your best friends?
Which has been waiting with depressed like you too.

(XXXI) What he doing is sharpen the summit of the rock
makes the grains of sand to have the meaning;
does not only for you, also for them,
although that time they forget about you,
even up be whined to be agree
on the wind- wave that he ever visited,
as the place to bail those well of eternality.

(XXXII) Just relax,
enough for you to remember, then they feel too;
let him walks with his own option,
and you step on your conviction.
Straight or had enough,
until gets back as strange human in front of them.

(XXXIII) The one had moved
the fate’s gravity of the world even for a second,
the particle of my aura glares lightly,
and the perfume of its atmosphere is still sticky onto them;
this is the black rose, liquid poison of period’s compounding, they said.

(XXXIV) He strips the supplies off
when his black ink is sailed without plan;
you did too,
felt how this earth had pounded from inside,
and your body has a layer of the power.

(XXXV) Heighten the soul’s element of essence
to the land of noble,
the lotus is getting higher at its stalk;
your superiority from them,
which only waits the a queue of the time.

(XXXVI) Doesn’t enough to stretch,
has been long time spends the atom of life
only for the traveling without gestures,
resembling like be stabbed by knife of night shivers in desperate.
You hug the stars after looking each other,
only for returns the power;
the stolen one will be back, the one who gives will be sonly receive,
for present the smiling, get the intimate kissing.

(XXXVII) Now the eyes of lake is turbid,
the sand is spread around, be seethed in the heavy current,
throwing the body to make a hole in the space;
only the near eyes, understands the yearning from the sad of the top of pen.

(XXVIII) The staging is starting to show,
the painters stripe a little of the courage of color,
and the poets re just started to scratch a few alphabet,
as if summarizes the world with the arrogance;
they think had superior than The Creator (God).
A half of them are said;
“if God still there, He has the plan!”

(XXXIX) Mean while,
i keep in sitting on the green virgin grasses,
while chiseling the time on the stone,
to tell my destiny fortune for them.

(XL) Occasionally the hanging loosely hair is touching my face,
I allow it, and sometimes I caress it softly
with hand’s fingers that there is the loyal ring from her.

(XLI) Then she walks, while understanding the meaning of tombstones;
in so many times the twilight drags the sun,
the hours are back to stopped in the leaf’s dew of your heart,
similar like the nights before,
loneliness without a friend,
also there is no more, they said;
“the face that is deserved to imagine!”

September 21, 2000. Parangtritis Yogyakarta.

Glossary
1. Kawah Candradimuka: a name for cauldron in the stories of wayang playing.
2. Gending: the musical composition for gamelan.



Ballad of Jala Suta
Nurel Javissyarqi

(He has name Jala Suta, the legend said;
his birth when his both parent were wading the Sunda straits.
the wave was the witness of sacred ceremony; the sun was in the top of adult,
while the silver color of the moon, accompanied his musing.
while the stars he was picking up for lesson).

(I) The black cloud as black as the charcoal above Sunda straits;
the water was seethed, the wave hunted to brook the air,
god and goddess in the space were betrayal each other, the heaven country was unstable;
one by one of the stars were falling off incarnated becomes fire ball,
the ocean was boiling, the fishes died.
This was the hurricane that ever been forecasted, the heart of sky was cracking,
the bosom of ocean was pouring out, in the season that indistinctly of its time.

(II) It had became the certainty,
the small boat moved helter shelter felt the flaming of judgment day;
that was the only boat, safe from the disaster.

(III) Mrs. Fatimah was pregnant for nine months of yearning,
sailed with her husband, Ahmad;
be worried, thousands thunder gripped the shaking skin,
the wings of angel of death was ready to sank.

(IV) A little by a little,
Mr. Ahmad threw away the cargo of the boat;
mother Fatimah grimaced in pain, soon after that,
the rain also the whip of thunder crashed the air,
stabbed the wave to break the surge.

(V) There was some thing flied away, the white bluish of light
fell and stroke the body of the boat, together with it Jala Suta was born,
the perfect of him was accompanied by the breath’s dancing of around space.

(VI) The cloud was covering the Sunda straits,
be quickly scattered around to the edges of firmament,
the thunder was shy by baby crying,
the blindly surge was back to normal;
the rain was stop, the water was not seethed any more,
the stars shined again, that is the story.

(VII) The boat had passed the Sunda straits,
the destiny for safe had lined by God aimed to the land of Dwipa.
When the island of Java was in the upheaval of power,
be cheated each other for prestige, the rules of tradition weren’t running anymore;
the religion was just some kind of horrible tale,
in ear of children would become the giant.
While the fate of scholar of Islam had lost the authority;
the pastors, monks, and fathers didn’t speech any more.

(VIII) Soon- later Jala Suta grew become adult,
in the country was in hot,
the sun’s light was like the flare crashed the flat of steel,
the dry season roared and overwhelmed the mountain to the valley,
the epidemic of disease incarnated become the second angel of death,
the people were killing- stabbing each other,
fought over the water each other for their rice fields;
the government’s apparatus didn’t want to care about it,
the people of merchant was changed become the profiteer for all of them.

(IX) Hunger overwhelmed the entire place,
had often happened the robbery every where,
the widows had many lost their treasure, the night didn’t comfort anymore,
the kidnaper was like haunting ghost, there was no safe place at there,;
the leaders had party and celebration, the robber had rob,
the politicians were be apple polish, had the tongue of snake with the head of wolf.

(X) Jala Suta watched those chaotic,
be sad in heart, inner heart was motivated to be passionate to change it,
but how the son of Fatimah could do it?
While his father had die,
the mother was infected by the disease of forget;
all her hair was becoming white, her teeth were falling out,
only oat the porridge chewed betel,
be engage in a such a form of worship in all days, hoped to The Big Power (God),
in order Jala Suta for later made be the well manner son.

(XI) The prayers flied with the smoke of incense,
the mother Fatimah went after her husband;
the eyes were close, died in peace.

The heart of Jala Suta was broke, the lava was pouring out in his bosom;
he buried his mother with the dropping tear like rain,
together with the overcast he went home,
and the spirit of the mother had stepped up stairs
similar like the white pigeon of heaven’s occupant.

(XII) That day the forest Roban was smelling on putrid taste,
the blood spread around the horses were lay sprawled;
the robbers that leaded by Surendros ran amuck,
the treasure of Chinese merchant that pass by those forest was token by forced,
his daughter with name Ci’a, was ran by Surendros into cave.

(XIII) But those stingingly noon was changed become thickly dark,
the black cloud as black as the charcoal in throng covered the forest Roban;
Suta came accompanied by the whip of lightening attacked to Surendros,
Felt like beat the wind, both of them crashed the invulnerable one another,
Ci’a shivered for fear, had torn clothes and sliced the suffering of virgin.

(XIV) Jala Suta and Surendros were weak, the whole power had came out,
because Jala Suta was younger, so his power recovered quickly;
Surendros back to hunt blindly,
alike the wild ox of Java which its ear is plugged by the earth,
while the son of ocean was actively moved a side to escape,
like the fish sili or white eel.

When the hand of Surendros beated tree of tamarind,
branch was burnt, fruits were falling off, leafs were wafting;
the precisely time didn’t wasted by Jala Suta,
stabbed the enemy’s stomach with the giving Kris from his elder.

(XV) Surendros collapsed with bleeding all around the body,
Suta got hurry approachrd to Ci’a, and said softly;
“sweet girl, that bustard is die,
you may leave now.”
“but how about my parent, Master?”, asked Ci’a,
“lets get out” Jala Suta took Ci’a to come out from the entrance of cave.

(XVI) Watched Surendros became corpse,
hoodlums got ready to attack Jala Suta,
but with the smile of sky Suta said the words;
“look at the cloud at that sky above, the lightning is lighten,
all of it will go if I say so.”

“Step away my brother, your duty is over”
;Jala Suta commanded to the cloud and cumulus
dispersed to the corners of firmament.
The members of Surendros watched the lightning- cloud went slowly,
They were afraid; all at once beg for mercy to the son of Straits.

(XVII) Jala Suta, the figure of messenger in front of them.
“Hurry, engage the rope in the body of that merchant”
; said the son of Fatimah.
Then Ci’a moved to run to embrace her parent.
(the guards of those merchant were so many fell headfirst and died,
the others were bad injured).

(XVIII) The goods sold were packed,
then went by horses cart which still could use,
Ci’a and her parent said good-bye; there was the smiling of Suta brought by Ci’a,
Then they continued the trip, came out from the forest Roban.

(XIX) Jala Suta became chief of robber after that
from the members of Surendros;
leaved from the noisy and thunderous of forest to town,
shake the people of government,
whom piled the treasure from the effort of corruption, and
seized by forced riches of profiteer,
whom exert the folks sweat.

(XX) The members of Jala Suta increased,
in the short time met the group of another robbers,
competed the power and was always win;
he was famous among the people of Samin because of loman,
in the eyes of apparatus also they were inflicted a loss, he was the figure of crazy.

(XXI) One night on the mountain’s side of Merapi at south side,
Jala Suta leaded the meeting, at the point was;
wanted to rebel to the government.

Paranggi, the ex leader of robber,
nodded the head as the symbol of being loyal,
and followed by others ex leader and the others members.
At those night the strategy of rebellion had arranged,
The god and goddess were in hesitation, the crescent moon as the witness of it.
(XXII) At the exactly time had decided,
the nature had been ready to accept the shaking;
those bats brought disorder to the power,
the stalks and branches of trees were shaking to flop,
the fruits of rose- apple fell off be gripped by the noisy.
And the rulers didn’t lost in unusually intensive,
alike the crow bird defended its territory,
fought until the end in the thick space.

The members of Jala Suta had so many became corpse,
Resembling like stroke by the waved storm,
stroke back to the border of beach of escapee;
also Jala Suta, ran helter and shelter from the arena.

(XXIII) The bad day for him, the son was born by the Sunda straits;
ran away ride the horse brought the wounded,
his left hand was stabbed by arrow,
and his members had the broken courage,
spread around alike the river’s stone with no meaning.

(XXIV) The color of dawn wiped the great east,
the body fell headfirst on the edge of lake;
the mist was climbing up and the dews were dropping off,
he was lifted by the princess to the back of horse,
took by her the dying body into a house.

(XXV) Coincident,
the mother of helper’s princess was traditional healer;
he was dying for seven days, at the eight day he was awaked,
the injures all over the body were cure slowly.

(XXVI) The first words of Jala Suta from sleeping were;
“Where am I? Who are you my helper?”
The soft and generous princess said the words to answer;
“You are in my place, master. I brought you here,
you were fainted on the edge of the lake around here.”
“What is your name pretty girl?” asked the man of Sunda straits,
“I have no other name but Dewi.”

Jala Suta continued to talk;
“You are deserved to have that calling,
may I add the name becomes Dewi Tunjung Biru?
Seems like you proper on that, a hanging down of wind of your hair’s wave.”
(the princess was smiling, nodding as the symbol of agreement)

(XXVII) Next day like usual;
the mother of Dewi Tunjung Biru questioned about health of Jala Suta,
all the body were in better condition,
moved freely, the soul had the courage again,
after several days from dispersed of his members.

(XXVIII) The lovely morning the poets said,
the ruins of mist incarnated become the grains of dew,
then fell off in harmony;
the bird’s chirp recited the tembang of memory,
when the face of beautiful sun was shiny- harmonious,
the wings of butterflies flied lightly tempted the heart,
among the flowers at the edge of lake of day.

(XXIX) Jala Suta was startled on the heap of stone,
the tinkling of water flew through the valley of those rice fields;
Dewi Tunjung Biru washed the dress,
The eyes of beauty were penetrating each other to feel,
enjoyed the sheaths of flower lotus;
both of human kinds were looking each other to stare
summarized the smiling of happiness,
only disappointed could stop it.

Then came the motto;
“I am Jala Suta, rebel
is my strategy to respect the great grand mother (elder).”

October 3, 2000. Yogyakarta, Kadipaten Kulon.

Glossary
Sili: a kind of fish for un tasted water in Java that its form alike the eel but a little shorter.
Loman: took from Javanese, which means generous.
Tembang: took from Java which means the song for the people at Java with Javanese language.



Ballad of Flower Lotus
Nurel Javissyarqi

(I) When the echoing bell is surrounding to the valleys of soul;
the tree acacia, trembesi, mahogany and teak,
unite the rhyme of a prayer service,
be hurry sweetheart, before the hurricane collapse everything.

(II) Your hair hangs down of a softness of wind of dew picking,
to the mature bosom of the lake, and the farmer of wine’s garden
presses its fruit in the season of flower,
when the sun sows the grass of rice plants;
portions of a rice paddy freshens the river’s flowing
which have been waiting the party of thanksgiving.

(III) You are the composing of centuries ballad had summarized in book,
the wing’s feathers flap, awakes the big breath of yours;
the blood are scattered to bathe the village of birth land,
and the shadow of overcast takes the wind to go to the drizzle.
The miracle of morning for tired, and the earth- sky are felt so close,
feels like hunger body, deaf ear, the eyes are seeing the stars;
leaves the black spirit far away aims to the world of sunless.

(IV) The dry stalk is suffered constantly on the river,
so many kilogram of nervous of bird float in the space;
lessens the gravity of earth to be alliance with the storm,
enters the staring of light.
The ink culminates like leafs wraps on the head of student,
and the slot of branch sends the news about it;
thin kissing onto the weather of height,
sleep tight on the branch, the others enclose song of twilight,
and the body is glaring with gray, has vision of first Godliness.

(V) All kind of bitter of changing, taking the power of earth for long time,
the guiding of this story in the river’s flowing that has the curvature of motherland.
The human crosses over the stone of hill to move like the heavy current of water,
his soul are yielding, the ravine of sincere waits for the death;
smiling comes to memorize the crying of rain,
pry up the yearning onto the fragrant of beach flowers.
Drag softly the tongue of wave since from the wild cactuses,
I was sinking, drawn in the reciting of daydreaming.
The fragrant of that rotation across the graveyard of accounting,
the breath is lifted up by the water source of wish,
life tells the story about The Flower Lotus.

(VI) The motivation of outer aware is moved by the inner of inner aware,
your sickle eyebrow is as beauty as the flower of sesbania,
to the robe of night scatters the stars.
You live in the sky of lake sailed; the angel folds the cloud
covers at the atmosphere of city gate.
Waits for the opener of century, new world is absorbed by the spirit of God’s wish,
then the tales of folks lives in the heart.

(VII) The surge shakes the free straits,
the air moves each sentence of firmament,
meet the news of eternality reaches the beaches of mother’s prayer,
and always flops the rock, cape stifles the sand of feeling.
The sons of seashore found the salt of essence,
while this rhythm you receive as the way it is.

(VIII) Tone infiltrates the far away nook to the ear of the world,
the sentence and submission smiling sing the feeling.
This is the poem of poet before gets old;
the young wanderer is as odor as his ascetic practicing, His (God) grace is galore.
A grain of dew is seized,
the inner heart steps up a pulse of aorta, the messengers compose the heart.

(IX) Tremble, its remembrance pours the fresh sap out,
if the ship is founder on the rock’s edge of reality;
at beginning was the strange aims to the yearning to dig the meaning up,
debility of dry clears away to the heaven of internal, the heart are blossoming.

(X) I call the throne of lotus in the edge lake of soul,
the sprucing up to the mirror of poor wanderer said the word;” Lotus,
allows me to embraced collect a gulping of your water
evicted of my thirsty as the food of my hunger,
had long I felt the suffer from a loss.”
Then you answer;
“take it as curer of thirsty filer of hungry,
this is my holy sacrifice, when you are really need.”
Through the cup of his both hand, he is drinking the purity,
and then the buds alienate the night’s hugging.

(XI) There is no perfect story,
it continues to retrace the edge;
had washed a piece of letter away
in the lake nurses the soul comfort,
the lave of superior grade,
takes the civilization up into the eyes of period that is almost lost.
The shiny face, the wind of tropic sways to and fro of your hair
as clear as the baby stares at, always to The Power of God.

(XII) A sheet of paper of testimony, is uncovered by the book of morning’s dew
which cracks into the dry field, will be forgotten the lightly sound of joking;
it’s really done a feeling sharply have its effect,
the cloud shows the white glittering knifes,
at there the fresh youth drips the grace;
when the glowworm is hiding its light,
the freezing cold like stone to the top’s climbing,
and the wings of butterflies are broke at the window.

(XIII) The cloud doesn’t imprison the bowing wind,
as noble as the primer person shelters his people;
at once the fall in small drop of drizzle creates the buds be back,
its remembrance is careful, the fragrant of changing times.
At the jail, the heat of soul is the real licking,
the dry of time turns to be stone in the forehead of resigned.
The cutting piece of young bone is moved,
its inner heart is connected to the top;
hermit forgets about the body more than the place- time,
locks him self in the silent,
meets the God.

(XIV) The whole power are used, the present century is the throne of real peace,
a piece of paddy that is doing pray on the stone of marble,
the soul of seeds is putted in bet when flying;
downcast flower, the heartbeat just left one,
the gate of blossom is for you,
stories about the stage as light as the smiling,
for the one who stops at your night’s lake alas the essence.
Green bird decorates the morning, the bent leafs are shaking
in harmony with the news of the cluster rice fields stairs of valley, attends without end
always found the explanation in the countries of visiting.
Your spirit as same level as the flower of relief on the stones of temple,
the green nature surrounds the master piece in the depth of heart.

(XV) There is no word to represent, the dream flows to the river of motherland,
enjoys the naughtiness of stiff
creeps over the insisted dry season
enters the hemisphere of silent, soul of the wanderers.
Only the stone beside the frozen word,
the musty of moss get the wall of yearning be dumb,
while the alphabet become steam and lost is forgotten,
then the mist is visited to the new land;
had enough to receive, as the forever weather?

(XVI) Holds the stalk, the gold wilted flower,
the fruit that I gave is drying now, its bucket always smells good,
the color of sincere crying is silver,
meet the master in long sleeping;
“is this the brother of abdomen, whom looks after you in the whole time?”
The dawn reminds to the trip of finds the summit of world of essence;
“how are you over there,
when finding the beauties of universe?”

(XVII) The flower lotus blossoms at night,
hides in the dark of silent,
the moon tails the pretty one from behind the slots of time,
the light is seethed in the in passing storm.
If you love her then let her go, your duty is just looks after her,
and don’t stop her if meet her
on the letters that washed away on the lake,
because the destiny of separated is similar like the shadow be loyal to follow the body;
remember on that dimple of the face of rose,
until there is no more jealous, because the wounds-pain are staying in the heart of mankind.

(XVIII) My greeting: “the children of shepherd are bathed in the lake,
picks your stalk up, kissing the sincere sheath that you are attended.”
This is the story that grows at the cluster of village;
at once time the flower is weak,
because there is among those children are forgot, didn’t carry you
together with semanggi grasses for their livestock of animals.
I pick you up for hug as an embracing of the child,
and you allow me even though I was not the shepherd;
the flower of beauties gives promise on the happiness, only for the lonely souls.

(XIX) That night I incarnated becomes poet;
a cup of coffee and so many cigarettes are sucked,
the smoke flied upward more than the logical of dream,
the pen moved to sailed,
the consciousness of amazement was onto you, the light was alive in the narrow room.
The deepest desire from the realizing of creation,
the time incarnated become the eternality;
this was the craziness of mysterious night,
when I was in the rotation of flower’s smell.

(XX) Yesterday I was only the wanderer which dull in writing,
while the present time is so many sheets of paper suffer on ink,
as long as the curl hair of night’s river stretches.
At the top of it is putted the smiling, gives the magic power for me;
who you really are? Are you just a lotus?
Or you are the softness incarnation of universe?
I fulfill the room with the incense of yellow sandalwood, until forget the address of birth.

(XXI) In the middle height of fire,
the strong chain ties the self,
lonely and disorder, the fence that has no master;
“does he out from the line of literary?
Look at the crazy wanderer that doesn’t know the purpose,
walks with carry on the head the destruction, eats the rottenness.
The rain is wet the swelter is sting, the looking of eyes is deathly pale;
If the iron is rusty, the dusts are dying.

(XXII) The full moon culminates the splendor,
gives the sheath in the mysterious and quiet musing;
look at the tongue of wave licks the wall of heart,
the ray is cracking in the canvas of sky, token by forced by the right of ink.
Switch the torch on when the heart is extinguished,
be flared to lighten the odor corners of smiling
which indistinctly of its coming in the sarong of hesitation.
In the room of empty, the red string pulls the nets of spider,
the light is unwilling to appear partially, buries the bright of lantern;
the gift is for you, helps the aware to step away.

(XXIII) Even your light burns my wings,
i don’t carry the anger; the wound by burnt saves the memory,
will be free the yearning to say the lave.
The holy fragrant of flower lotus, the little and cute heart of universe is flying,
the sacred flower is now assumed usual;
Is this the embracing of times changed with the teenage?
The lotus beside you accompanies the gamelan of silent of the lake,
and the nights are fully grace with the heart fragment
which never had by the other flowers.

(XXIV) The copulation ballads of dawn’s sheaths
sucks the lips of mist to tell the warm time;
the stairs of cloud moves crouching aim to the kingdom of thousand moons,
testified as usual the eclipse gilds the full moon.
In the mysterious park of Welirang, the warm attends,
the pebble threatens to question;
“are there never ending marriage in the heart of human being?”
Forget has the aroma of quiet, the nervous is cured in the dream;
Does deserved to said unless the true story,
be loyal to accompany you until the ceremony of love,
about the forever returns home of the family of lotus.

(XXV) Your karma at ending and beginning are started,
the whole particle of air is the incarnation of the love,
the blanket is hugged warmly of the best friend,
the words engage the beauties of tropics;
chews the yearning cures the heart,
a green grass has the wind of teak’s tale.
The grave flower of lotus of full moon, the compounding of its sheaths is united in a stalk;
these are the alleys of your breath of the pulsating of universe,
its leafs floats alike gestures,
and the fishermen by net adds the result of musing,
memorized by them the way of life increase and sink,
and then get higher to the top of sacrificing.

(XXVI) The saying of male frog; “this is the conveyor of life,
the next period is just left in memory,
be sad to memorize, sink;
a grain of lake’s water on the hand,
the blossoming lotus breeds as free as the patter of rain following each other successively,
complies and praises the splendor of creation,
heighten the grade of swamp’s water in the big part of legend
on the spreading of wonderfully blue stars,
a singing of misty wind to the doors of house,
resembling like the soft touching of the ancestor’s ballad
for the link of century embroiders the bright night.”

(XXVII) The tired night freezes the ruins of mist,
swimming in the cold river to pick the ancient’s holiness up,
on the softness crochets the true story;
the stage is fully with the show, the noon is bought- sold,
the occupant of link world, disappears when smelting the ascetic practicing.
The storied teller of sense, his breath is a candle gives the light,
Its life doesn’t eternal even though is connected with the wick;
east- west be molten by your understanding,
and the body is pass away soon- later the flame is extinguished too.

(XXVIII) The fresh wind boosts the dancing up;
the news of desire of the blood vomited and the courage of wound yielded,
recites the ballad of your love is quickly spend the soul.
Move front be higher than waits the cool of death;
The earthenware jug’s pouring of foam’s song, the glass tinkling of party’s glasses,
the fresh smiling is stabbed by the voluptuous feeling, be in drunk of the feeling.

(XXIX) The wind is whispered doesn’t extinguished in the middle of wish,
the grains of fire remove peels the skin of flesh to open the mirror of renewal;
“I am the flame of candle from your always flaring.”
The body melts sweet soul; the goal fills the emptiness of night,
the stone’s piling of silent keeper is storied the stupa for the temple,
the late of holy understanding from you had answered;
because nervously in doubt in the fullness of yearning,
don’t let it be extinct, until lost the jealous.

(XXX) The dropping of drizzle falls in mid night
guards the lonely soul in the flickering century,
at the beginning of intention is to step then restrains the bitter of tongue;
a gulping of water as the driven out of the speechless, run- be cheerfully
the jingle of golden cart singing is picking you up,
be pulled by six horses which have white and gold wings,
cruise the world that without gestures to the whole universe of secret.

(XXXI) So that the way it is sweetheart, doesn’t sleep in the dread,
be nervous in the emptiness; carry on the shoulder the burden of tired,
shredded if be off guard by the dancing of a sword in the air.
The body will be passed and useless, the weather of cold is flickering,
the angels take the wishes.
Before get bowing to peep at, your green leaf is precious
when the end of east sleeps the sun;
the group of crow fly, every days is turbulence,
the war is asking the pacifying gift of the children of the period.

(XXXII) The country of lotus grows in peace,
but now is having no occupant, the pale faces are frozen in feeling,
there is still the asking of soul, the pacifying gift had described indistinctly,
the leader forgets about his self and greedy; the ocean of blood, the holy wine,
be poured on the table of judgment.
They follow their own laws, the party of death;
the sun is versifying the disaster, the women are falling headfirst
for the dreaming of injured full moon.
The dropping of blood is falling onto the sheath of crack,
caressing the rose with the tear of sorrow;
the lotus in the nervous silent.

(XXXIII) The painting of twilight’s white cloud in the lake of bright red,
the fresh drinking;
the time of turmoil, the judgment day fastens of its want.
The ships aren’t sailed,
the walls of rock is cracked by the wind pours the passion.
The news had close, folded by the map of time of the world aims to the heaven,
the holy books doesn’t touch the heart anymore,
the broom of split coconut midribs is turned to statue at the corner of guess room.
They are more interested to the dime romance of the dream’s novel, will
not get there, the chain sinks in the current of drunk;
the carcass bird more early to fly to bring disorder to the country of louse.

(XXXIV) That time chewed the bile of more than ten of time,
the person of sacred in soul is extinct; the kind man shows his kindness,
the bad guy be wilder without shy.
The scholar crazier than the insane people,
the parallel eyes are difficult to differentiate when the happening is shown up;
the sun- moon are sunk, one at the north, the other at the south.
The one who be sincere to nurse the nature be always gave the easiness of guiding;
between the disaster and party, between the blood and also the lake,
the sun is extinguished when the night gives the lesson to the wanderer.

(XXXV) It had been the God’s will that can’t be avoided,
it maybe can only lessen, alike the poet’s said;
the lotus will blossom the sheath of night again,
resembling like the child at the edge of lake of Mbalong sari,
the clay made by him as the own world, or
controlling the flight of the kite and its string hooked onto the bamboo’s jungle,
the sadness is jangle, let the lotus as the curer of hurricane;
the land of silent, the grass’s smell be more fragrance, the late of the self realizing is quiet,
doesn’t heighten onto the top of consciousness to the God, but
the willing of gathering become one of the creature- the God.

September 2000, Gunung Kidul. Yogyakarta.

Glossary
1. Semanggi: from Javanese which mean dish of vegetables steamed with spices.



Ballad of Crazy Man Accost You
Nurel Javissyarqi

(I) This is the word of the crazy man,
pregnant for nine months of memory;
life- death in so many fall head long,
the head is a half cold of the angel, the left side is the real world.
The ship of nervousness is in any direction
alike wades the firmament that without color,
roaming in the middle of hurricane;
the time of turmoil of its children,
fall headfirst together with the wines of honor.

(II) He looks at them in crazy about,
think about the world is in crazy,
that the way of the book of craziness is created;
gets up from the sleep of un calamity.
Confused in sudden way to create the ballad of worship in the altar of The Great Power,
in the temple, church, square and in the cage of sky;
The planets are trembling, be breeding on the craziness.

(III) The morning without caused,
the beginning didn’t certain and become the usually,
before the dews are dropping off,
the soft fingers are taking the flower of grass,
then watches to infiltrate the air for the eyes of inner heart being born,
the sun doesn’t want to speak to the pale and bitter face,
also seem behind the veil of dark of the shadow,
the little and cute flowers are compounded by the spell of worship,
doesn’t clearly enough but is scratched by the consciousness of life in the holy morning.

(IV) When the noon open its eyes,
the wriggle lips had slapped then it mad,
the lost days are token by the weather of emptiness,
not token by forced but in passed token,
among that there is thief;
the twilight’s caressing picks the stalk of grasses,
the birds of spring season goes back to their nest,
as much as the acting of children of Bakauheni.
The waiting of paint misses its medicine; who walk arm in arm,
invites the sunless sun into the embracing of freshmen.

(V) The night climbs up the robe of slope at the distance of ravine,
a piece fells down when the brain is flying away;
the mysterious fingers are obtained with the poem’s strings,
the difficult step is changed by the rhyme, awake the depth of soul,
pries up the yearning, the flare of love and lave is back to light up.

(VI) The night is more telling about to reach the silent,
the stars looking each other, the heart is all in closing its eyes;
a slight of light till lighten the thing moves front to the incident.
This is the time of soft craziness, doesn’t seem when it flips,
the river flowing to the heavy current touches the whole inside of heart;
walks together with the soul, the others are joined,
to the hinterland of immeasurable mist.

(VII) The immeasurable poem, not the distance of fate of the crazy symptom;
at the top of remains of the past gate of Samber Nyawa at mountain Gambar,
the dry wind of hills, peels off the back skin of wanderer,
the first is ballad song and then cut off by the softness air of valley’s cluster rice field.

(VIII) In the morning of town’s corner he fell a sleep with disheveled clothes,
life off the grade the forehead fully with the dust at the town square of waiting;
has the dream about across the river, the dugout moves in harmony with the wave,
the water’s sound of gulp lessens his breath much longer flowing crazily.
This is the little smiling of laughing is tickled by the impossibility;
every aura of visiting stamps the feet to fly away,
alike the kapok without soul is blew by the a warehouse wind.
This is the news about the delivered of the news of eternality,
st the beginning was sleepy and then found the summit of romance.

(IX) Sad days like gray cloudy make the space like the earth,
the sun is shy to reap the grasses of paddy,
mean while the seeds bow down
as the sign to approve the season is changed;
continued in the era of perforated,
the sparrow is lazy to create the nest,
receives the cemetery at he corners of building.

(X) He is perfect when accost,
the language of smiling and laughing, the mysterious movement in the soul;
some is deserved to remember, gives the whole attention,
be polite to walk when the period is in crazy,
resembling like the blind man steps without any certain destination.

(XI) You are crazy or the rather crazy one is I?
Let this question is roaming, no need to be hurry aims to the estuary of answer,
Become more blurred to approach to there,
you came to me or more than ever,
you are in the depth of your heat;
you are crazy about the silent, realized until being alone.

(XII) This is craziness that before storied;
he is sailed to crochet of yet intact paint, even what the perfect is(?).
This is the other way that the pen took, no need to worry in the end of sentence,
enters into the room of crazy, be frozen again the steps of balance;
lessens the time’s burden of heart lighten, take a rest
the earth stretches the firmament, you are the cloud of wound.

(XIII) Resembling like wipe the floor but not finish, rubbish scatters all around
but continue to do another thing; the ocean of nervous,
pours the grain of salt doesn’t clearly when it will end.
Enter the bucket repeatedly without need to be worried;
finish to sell it to the market of flower
and releases your wilderness to guess even though doesn’t same,
reaches the hoping fully with stretching wings of same kind of human being,
when the vision of universe at the branch of unlimited.
This is the history under the reality,
the power of gravity is coming out to penetrate the back of night,
the accounting of stars where does it go and where does it have to be,
be answered by the bitter of tongue, heal is injure.

(XIV) When getting bow feels like the mountain is conquered,
the cluster of bamboo soars up to be flute to the infiltrated wind
to the slots of squeak’s sound;
the crying groan of valley to the bottom of ravine of the memory,
and he back to become drunk on a compounding of flower.

(XV) Once time is also,
he is picking up the sheaths to be spread around make a circle,
the dancers pass over the first line of ecstasy, just when he made the work;
the immeasurable history is pulled from him as strong as the magnet,
the iron sands of a clump of memory become remembering.
The overcast lights on warm and naturally,
when doesn’t drop even up a sheet of drizzle,
the stingingly noon is swing by white and empty smoke.

(XVI) And smoke is keep billowing as the efforts of
the fragrant of yellow sandalwood, the incense incarnates become flowers
are collected to incarnate become the flying pigeon;
be released to leave the all footprint left behind,
visit the last and far away century
before the brain reaches the noon and night.

(XVII) Assault the blowing of wind, power of bright really goes on
doesn’t obey the pattern also the color, be perfectly crazy without feeling;
the bitter or sweet is forgotten, the light of feeling precipitates in the shoulder of loyal.

(XVIII) Thus forget lost the hearty laughter
flies upward and fast to the desert of thunderous,
the slowly one is fine, there is the rhythm that he is doing;
the one who knows also understands, visit for a moment,
feels the hesitation of spirit inside of someone’s body,
the softly insane doesn’t look like the imagined.

(XIX) Yesterday, lost his yesterday,
now is all empty aiming to the emptiness,
the sense doesn’t the sense anymore, mark it before too late.
Be far away to step won’t get anything,
the words without end, those rotation in the point of repeated;
as soft as the feeling thickens the intention of thinking.

(XX) Drop the dust be wiped by the in passing wind,
to your front they assume as usual; infiltrate in your heart
an ant on the white paper, you are sink in there.

(XXI) Since he incarnated become the flower, living in the park of Srowang,
there are no other flower unless him. The mysterious park had created in glory,
you muse the existence of mountain that doesn’t meet the end.

(XXII) He sends the greeting, when you are boring to read,
tomorrow will open the same world of aware but different in your accepting;
doesn’t with that way to play the chord with anger, listen to
the reciting of tembang of teaching that take you with to there.

(XXIII) His greeting reverberate, the cloud smoothes in the universe of space,
the tops of musing floats in the height of mountain
and every mysterious swaying is answered and be more complete,
the number walks aim to insanity; he is riding the night’s cart.
to story about the alphabet attends in the kingdom of God that he told
at the pulpit of humanity.

(XXIV) Embeds the dreaming in the gestures of unawareness,
the mysterious movement of tropic’s occupant is laminated with the fog,
where to find the softness, the soul of craziness,
was born together with the end of the history of these letters.
Be hurry to step to wander the forest of silent,
the bats infiltrate into the leafs of silent
incarnates be the air is tied by the night of your destiny.

(XXV) When the shadow come to call you to approach,
its greeting is for you, him also for them;
moves the sharp pen to go to the edge of seashore,
rolls the yearning up aim to the final estuary,
be flopped to beat the rock attack the garden is lying alongside liquidly,
i submit a pulse of water comes for the long time of dry season is released.

(XXVI) The craziness passes by the road that never realized before,
clutching the revenge, blossom wildly of the flower on the stalk
on the body’s fragrant of virgin girl.
Where is unlimited misses the stretching of eyes,
be soft and thick to close the post of the looking.

(XXVII) The craziness finally comes to its summits,
as easy as hermit’s souls flies that as soft as the shawl of the dancers;
the holy grass accompanies the butterflies flap to fell and drooping,
the weak crying is finished onto the sincerity of just one submission.

(XXVIII) The crazy man is remembered on the looking of pretty in front of him,
a figure of woman in the dream alike the glass flower;
he visit and then meets the bright of it,
nothing less than increases to record the time of floating
from the one continent to the others, from the island and then continues to wander,
doesn’t satisfy on the unconditionally adults, will be matured by the teaching burden.

(XXIX) The past one is allowed to go, don’t bob up and down the buried one,
keep coming a numerical lay figure of garden,
the birds will be afraid to the strings later,
while yet even a seed is presented
for their children had far away flied their imagine;
the greeting had come to you alas the bride of sunless.

(XXX) A letter for you as the filler of the alley fully light,
wheezing sound of color’s laughing rooms still buzzing silently in the ear,
and then the obsessed or gift, only the one is moved by the sign of the power
from everything are flowing to there
to one point similar like the poured down one, be lulled by the daydreaming as it likes,
as proper as boy is playing cheerfully, if you wish to wander then move it on.

(XXXI) The passed step, the special color on the surface of pure water,
look at the shadow of your face is facing something like that and then get there;
the drying leafs are falling off to scatter the mirror of the lake,
you are really mad by bring the bare chopping knife.

(XXXII) He is sleepy also be shy to begging,
the goodness of time runs from the thing the before,
be flexible in regularly, take and give is felt peacefully and in harmony at inside,
as fragrant as the blooming bud of flower of the virgin girl smiling.

(XXXIII) The other thing of that way,
the leaking cloud plays the chord with the hoarse sound
fills the echoing holy room to the valley of ravine,
be leaded by a humming of the shadow that misty with the death.
The tamarind tree isn’t have fruit, increasing the season to straightening,
the leafs crying spatters the dew always to us,
the other world is swallowed by the dumb wind after the breath is forget to meet.

(XXXIV) This tembangs are piercing the quiescence,
who is listening behind the devoutness,
the song composing of the crazy man is resounding;
the wave’s singing is dispersing and circle around of its foam
to the beach of relieve to constitute the child of period.

(XXXV) The sun rises from the curvature of sea’s blanket,
no more than is deserved to look at the sadness of the world you received,
feel the time has no place,
translates the place without era
or doesn’t both of them,
the feeling of empty is lost be awaken by the half crazy, alike
the surge washes you away to the near of its charming,
you are understanding the truth.

(XXXVI) As far as the rhythm of anxious,
the tapping sound of midnight clock;
climbs up to the moon is hanging without any certainty destination,
the habitual activity shackles the soul, a clod of cloud is mulching
above your head as the comfort umbrella, the green leafs are shined.

(XXXVII) The craziness leads to one hole,
doesn’t seen but felt,
digs the own grave in the entrenchment of ground,
uncovers the great grand mother; all kind of bones are breaking uncommonly,
spread around, be collapsed suppressed by the war. Where doesn’t change,
become the digger for the all brothers.

(XXXVIII) The bloody twin birth,
the shadow of death is a wink of sword’s glaring
cut off the cable in harmony with stopped flute tone;
as strong as the fingers choke to collapse the hoping
on the storm blowing strident to be delirious- confusion.

(XXXIX) Since the stupefied night is lost,
the stillness goes away the remembrance flies to the small and isolated village,
be prosper before the hurricane is happened which that is snatch away the water source
for field very dry
by the light of sun always thirsty.

(XL) So many sheets of papers of the testimony
on the lava that has been spilled thousands years ago;
the mountain was fully trees, the hills were surrounding
the holy fire was circling the tradition’s ceremony, and
the soul’s dancing was moved by the spirit.
The thunderous of drum was incessantly replying each other and chasing after,
the sound of feet of the soldier alike the bird’s chirp in the jungle,
its breath in the flat of history by the flowing testimony.
All craziness doesn’t come in sudden way,
had arranged by the one who rules the nights of stars
the one who nurses the lotus on the lake of silent reaches the meaning,
as the green fields at the day of tomorrow.

(XLI) Without limit doesn’t mean extinct, don’t you guess it;
there is no other thing except the equality of life hood
that is the movement of inner heart that doesn’t be understood,
in the hand of the mystical power of the God’s line.

(XLII) Wait a moment,
your love will come with a stalk of smiling;
the rose of silent composer cures the pain of heart
and the flowers of lotus as the composer of art.

(XLIII) You understand on lines that run,
translates the nature is moved softly,
the light is on, the rainbow is shining the path
doesn’t forget in the flash moment, gulp the cloud rides the period;
which wait for you to meet, which be doubt to get the stones.
Doesn’t the harmony is created by the values of love?
You are believing, the drum of love is stroke incessantly then getting far away
visit you on the pitches of heart’s pain; greeting for him
alas the bride of time,
you are always remembered in your absent.

(XLIV) Be loyal until the death comes to get you,
be smiled like the full moon, the flowers along of history
that pulls the true soul up to stare at the everlasting sun.

(XLV) The lessen for your shallow vision,
gets hurry to get out in the holy morning returns everything;
the people in throng fill the bargaining each other to the middle of the road
never finish to be eternal is not in the mind, doesn’t in the heart of consciousness,
but in the taken hinterland on the mirror reflection of the honesty.

(XLVI) Sometime the parallel moving you thought as the truth,
the vision states that you are not understanding the meaning yet
then enter into inside; is this the master piece?
Everything is thought- felt,
the top of craziness doesn’t the imagination without explanation,
receives each of the musing before the memory about all is lost;
the snow mountain floats on the ocean that more the body below
from the top melt in abundant is carried by the consciousness of creating.

(XLVII) On the desert the flower is blooming wildly
without any attention also plan,
equal with the myth of the virgin incarnates become question;
as long as you open the padlock of your closing heart,
the wind infiltrates the conversation of the rushing sound- pliant.
The coming down water fulfills the empty room of the sleeping glass,
behind the wall there is stretching up and down stupefied make sound.
Who said enough or overflow?
For you to know the limit of your self, the sun is almost sink,
its light to the valleys of soul
in the stretching of paddy that is contained with the teaching.

(XLVIII) Together with the holy song of the chord playing,
surrounding like necklace to fill the night’s space of the train’s trip;
he gives a piece of fragrant of loyal curvature,
doesn’t deserve to tell unless for you
which is drowning in the cradle of intimate love.

(XLIX) Similar like the tembang is recited by the insect,
announced the dreams of a slight of the wander bird
sign up the secret is not ever been yet to paddle
alike the separated swaying; they nurse the consciousness of shadow of the nervous,
if doesn’t the night of full moon won’t flap into the hinterland,
and your attending is accounted in rumble without ever light off.

(L) The time of silent gives the place,
together moving attacks the sleepy; the stillness talks each other,
the nights is not dropping yet on the reaching of top.
The freedom of his self to be lulled by to follow the feeling,
a little by a little receives the soft, without limit
and then copulate the heavy time before climb down the mountain,
the leaf of kissing mist is different then incarnates become the real accepting.

(LI) Keep going forward; be uproarious to listen to the twilight,
the weight of yearning’s stone as the door closer of the cave of meeting;
the lost wanderer is no other else except the step without asking the question,
the sound of gulping of morning is threw away from the back of reality.
The pain doesn’t thought by the knife but the grace is gift;
the stretching of jump up and down didn’t care until the certainty shows up.

(LII) The long of whole alley of emptiness finds the meaning,
be implied by the thunderous of dying heart among the buzzing of insect;
never bored to entertain for the mankind carries on his period.
He uses the whole words to move the heavy night,
the tree Klampis waits for the collected of leveling fog,
the perfection of the dew in the eyes of formatting leaf.

(LIII) Curtseying the heavy night only for the lightly noon,
the loyal sun passes over without ever tired to keep the sweet promise,
nurses the attention of the people is the big chain of humanity.
The sound of laughing gives the meaning; sink in the thousand of quiet.

(LIV) The cloud covers the cluster night of stars,
the sky drops the color’s sheath of flower’s smell off
hypnotizes the intention to create the ballad;
from the thick alley you mention the craziness,
in the sentence is going to the end leaves the water source
to the estuary of sacrifice, to the all yearning of compliment.

(LV) The next night is so lightly,
the fast train as fast as a shining light fly away fast,
when the sheath is engaged by the water source;
he is alike the told leaf is showered by the memory,
sanctifying the greeting of peace of the brotherhood.
Its hard to be touch by sense from the dropping leaf off in the middle of night,
his age as mature as the season is circumcised on the tinkling dawn,
the hard booming realize to be attacked by the time in concern;
the ballad is composed by the poets take care of the loyal night,
for the soft wings of poem’s fragrant, alike
a cover of coconut’s flower especially for the sacrifice of policy.

(LVI) Be patient, the light comes to you
if you be in devout to create the feeling;
there is no other word except the waiting of going to late night
and the power of strength exaggerates its value
only to get the purpose of missing the full moon.
He has been waiting since from behind the curtain stillness.

(LVII) He stays submerged his body in the middle of swamp,
be drowning in the cold of night to feel
the absorption of the skin’s pores on the blossoming lotus;
is the truly happiness over there?
The night mature the behavior deed with the whole power
pierces the limit of period to release the soul,
for the sediment of the body- heart reminds him
still keep fighting for a gulping of water
cures the poison of understanding of past time.

(LVIII) Is this the incarnation of lament,
be flopped to be alone to penetrate the body
with your strength rips the limit of really,
at the sand of the veins of your humanity.
The descent owe is paid then conviction stronger,
be held by the night makes as its heir;
the embracing is hanging around asks without answer,
the one who aims to there he hugs, and there is no more
all are collected in the bosom of forgiver.

(LIX) The breath blowing pushes the enthusiasm
leaves far the weakly body,
then be usual to find the benediction what overflows.
My brother, come with your invisible smiling
while bringing the cup with honey in it
in order this body to be cure from weakly loneliness.
Then you move this hand so actively,
dances on the melodious leafs by the air of the one who misses;
a handful of hand before,
the night teaches its child to start the night
with the seriousness of love and lave it tells.
Trough a letter of doleful clangs,
your soft hand is slackening touches
onto the easiness that embraced.

(LX) If the season echoes as a moving of soul of wave,
the sky’s accosting of lightly air become overcast onto the abnormally niche;
firstly is the end and then be determined in the heart, nimbly hug the nervous bosom
reciting the kumambang is no other else than splashing of a body’s grace with destination.
That is the water spatters from the lip of sand- white of the silent memory.

(LXI) Its bottom freezes the bones,
the news of descent appears the real story,
a kind of fish is salted; is it here the craziness of death?
The cold wind licks the back of knife,
the wafted cotton incarnates become white cloud,
without limit also fully with the limit
be blew together with the world of gratitude.

(LXII) The procession of Adam- eve is always repeated in the stage of the world,
the human’s inner heart ting-a-ling the step of life- to involve;
echoes the whole universe of the cocoon incarnates become the butterflies
or will be burnt in the stinging of dumb, the bay of bile on the promise of the cutter of heart .

(LXIII) Does like this the story? A stage of craziness;
the light attends to welcome the dancing of crazy man
lets the red light loose, the sound of sky is keep echoing,
the all kind of bones are crushed to bits before the earth say good bye.
When lost the conversation, the judgment is killed without satisfaction.

(LXIV) It is really crazy to move without soul,
a piece of wet maize with the cup; death bodies
are lay sprawled to be tapped by the carcass birds.
Doesn’t the coffin open widely?
The shadow of bat is picking up the fruit of the rose- apple,
its wings is burnt to present the night of creation;
but on whose face the wound is surrendered to the blood trickle?
The bad sorrow he compounds incarnates be the compounding of flowers,
special for the wedding of east and west.

(LXV) The aroma of crazy is moved and then is rising,
the quiver is coming from here; mysterious- gossips, speeches- says,
the mysteriousness will not ignore the stone’s throwing,
screaming as far as they are not sacrifices.
Incarnate become the stones of magnet on the surface of pebbles,
commensurable with the bottle is flopped onto the sand of seashore.
This is the wings of past pierces the head
sees you at the times you are not guessed to be wilder
as the heart beating in the body of its sign.

(LXVI) They know the timekeeper
creates the place in the limit of feeling,
and anyone can go there.
On the top of height the reaching burns cigarette,
the necessary of breathe management designs the pattern of forecasting,
and then at his side is filled by the brightness.
Appears the smoke to thicken the birds at the sky,
be blocked by the cloud of stupidity, the fresh blood gushes
from the intent body special for the thirsty of the wanderer;
the mysterious cups are filled with the oil to light the lamp on,
before light off is fulfilled with the silent, the crowded is colored.
You are lucky to be understood by the musing of footprint in the splendor way,
and will meet the really understanding for later.

(LXVII) Won’t be hoped because you are not him;
that is the sign of another craziness since from the single insanity.
Together with this I entrust the greeting through the trembled hand,
Which he looking for in the late by climb up the body of nights.

(LXVIII) There is something lost after that,
your memory is loosed on the field of noisy;
i wait your inexistence until back to be aware,
your truth you believe as not me or him.
The tones friction of violin climbs up the steep slope,
find you near the cloud; a clump of cloud is coming,
the pouring of rain for you is outguessed to sign up the hurricane.

(LXIX) The insanity is decided to climb down the valley of difficult,
more crazy dig up into the point to be lost in thought into the seeds;
where the trees are planted between the mind and the insanity
The stupidity is under the aware of Jadab.

(LXX) The snow mountain melts to freeze the body dint,
the rain closes the door, creates the fire to heat your thinking;
because of the fire, the stems of bamboo need that.
The river flowing of great grandmother, its freshmen sinks the words
and at its turn, you aren’t trust your self either. After that
God take their doubt out, and then the loyalty is overwhelmed.

(LXXI) The wide river flows to be incarnated becomes the blue ocean;
the children wait at the seashore, he comes to you
gives to one another the bread to perpetuate the happiness
by giving the receptacle with the water of Zam- Zam in it.
Finds him, who comes down as the saver of hurricane
cures the crazy men,
the full valued he is spattering on the forehead of man kind,
before get the small intimate kissing of separated.

(LXXII) In the wandering,
the ragged clothes without supplies unless love and lave,
any his words incarnates become fragrant of flower in his lips;
his small kisses is as odor as the musk, while the swaying of feet
as light as the honey bee whom doesn’t collide the grasses,
the palm of hand is lighted so bright by the behavior deed.
He balances the moving of fate through the season caught up with him;
takes care of the gate of century to be loyal to the mandate,
the angel be obey to the pure of his behave and
the wind spoils at the stinging noon,
breaks through the sweat more than the cloud with slots.
Does the crazy man is the noble person?
Or he runs away from the reality of destiny?
Or gets out bring his fate aims to the world of crazy?

October 11, 2000. The working of this poetry is about one year, above the ceiling of Teeter Eska, UIN Yogyakarta.

Glossary
1. Kumambang: took from Javanese which means kind of java’s song/ poetry.



The Ballads of Too Early Destiny
Nurel Javissyarqi

(I) At the height of steam under the shelter of light,
the space fully with the grains of dew is dropped on the face of ocean;
before the wave of musing is swaying its hand to the final gesture of its period.

(II) The time is come for it to sit with cross legs in the water maelstrom of water source,
there is no spatter only the air of the owner of time harrows the surface.

(III) The smoke of incenses distills the air of height,
the atmosphere incarnates be compounding similar like the ballads in the ear of hermit;
a white pigeon flaps to go home to the nest of the peace of soul.

(IV) The destiny in the line of complain is poured to the blew remembrance,
from the firmament- tiles aim to the estuary in the land of dry season
for a handful of emptiness in the bosom,
and the meaning keep digs the burnt up before is getting to its times.

(V) Take your clothes off to copulate the room,
the rotation of destiny as fast as the atom of second;
to be broken or frozen of the mystery of echoing sounds,
beats the walls of water to splash to the face of the world.

(VI) Trough the finger’s dancing to sacred the hesitated soul,
the haunting spirit the curious soul, stays in here
together with a grimace of the star waits for the full moon;
the white clouds are pulled by the wish of the sky
spreads to the corners of firmament.
The throne of nigh is painted at there.

(VII) The tinkling of hand’s bracelet, the dancer’s ankle bracelet,
the heart’s poem to the valleys replies each other one another
at the pole of era, had written the after and before;
this is the happening of struggling of seashore’s sand,
be forget on the wind of stingingly sun on the chord playing of the light
which is peeled its skin by the first climbing.

(VIII) The flowers are falling off
leaves the fragrant on the birth land,
aims to the post of golden dry to incarnate become eternality;
i am in the depth over there sweetheart, together with you too.

(IX) The prayer’s hands create the power,
the colors of compounding of its sound is lifted by the universe’s mist,
the light reflects to the stone to create relief on the Magoa;
is it really placed on the place of its meditation?

(X) Cares your hair to enjoy the shaking green leaf,
many colors of lake are absorbed by the visiting sun;
it sits to look at the stones of knowledge,
throws the pebble to measure the yearning of nervous,
considers the goodness of suspicious before stepping away
aims to the eternality world of the poet.

(XI) Folds the free time, the shaking of softness hand,
the relieve of the breaths before is guided to keep breathe;
the cut off soul is united by the hunger to miss the truth.

(XII) In here the sucking is arranged,
the narrow room incarnates become magnet,
the cloud is the park the flower is the words,
the falling drizzle flows to the summit of crazy about,
the ocean is resembling like the town square as the place for children
of the river (tributary) to meet, god- goddess unites the fate.

(XIII) An ant drags its shadow
crawls and creeps to approach the light
and butterflies stretch down tiredly are swallowed by inexistence;
radiate like the glowworm to the devoutness of bow in resignation.

(XIV) Strange for it; all of the staring is seen mysterious,
hangs the strings between exist and inexistence,
when awake is at once moved lovely.

(XV) In one morning a dewy paper is wiped by fog,
the moon delirious in the calendar of era
and the shadow of tree is trembled by the fresh youth.

(XVI) Remember again about you the sand’s grains of holy alphabet,
suffuses the contented night in the niche of exciting life
and the cloud joins together at the walls of ancient’s sky;
the man kind steps on the stairs to the presence of God.

(XVII) The God’s wish is written alike a scratching of the pen is multiplied fold;
the carving of intention at the summit of sentence of God.

(XVIII) Surrenders the whole body and soul,
there is no repeatedly understood to breathe the air,
unless sucks the summits leafs of casuarinas;
at there the all kinds of bones are lined- gathered,
the deed of journey is a pulse of moving of love and lave.

(XIX) The intention of magnet pulls the grains of iron,
jars the flat of heart that its vibration is understood;
changes the subject- object in the room. He has the power
to wake the digging from the old well for the servant of God,
on the bright of light purifies the eyes of heart.

(XX) There is no ability to record,
the heard one is not memorized anymore or forget ache without any medicine.
Only the dawn returns the yearning by the past calling;
white clothe, white firmament, white ocean and everything
for the guided one is stabbed on the heart.
And the next is it prays in the space of universe;

(XXI) “Sweetheart, you know my secret in your house,
all dress of my worldly are taken off and be sincere to divorce
my pairs; you are blanketing me as heavy as the sleepy of
intimation, that sickness repairs my way aim to your kingdom.
And my contemptible is more than the dust on your yard
that you are hedging with certainty.”

(XXII) “Sweetheart, I am happy as beggar
at the quarter of the street in the middle city for erase
my life is crazy to be hoped by my lost emotionality.”

(XXIII) “I follow the destiny of quiet is mixed with the nervous,
the death reminds me to you;
returns the yearning to grow up without withered,
my winning is sitting down beside you dear
when everyone is seeing us in the middle of noisy.”

(XXIV) “Your willing is my life be molten,
thus flop it faster;
its horrifying to the beach of awareness.
The rock of my conceited is too weak,
so many rolling of surge break
that my fate of beating you want.”

(XXV) “Sometimes, i hate the beauty of nature,
when the moon- stars doesn’t entertain the sadness,
only the dew of your existence make me feel so comfort;
best friend, truly is i enjoy the silent by my self
but the God’s will pushes me to be not lonely,
my secret is fully on you.”

(XXVI) This often feels cold- terrible and lonely- painfully,
the gray looking is until be jealous to them,
but you pull me up while saying the word;
“you don’t be jealous because i can be like that either,
if you spend your youth to be not with me,”
then I am got the hesitation in all the time;
“where is your love for my youth?

(XXVII) Sometimes, I doubt if I am in your side,
or in federation of your enemy? “You are young will be better to be patient”
that sound comes from the best friend whom admonishes my sadness.
“I am not so strong my best friend, I was ever far away from you. Because of that
do I repeat it again now to create the jealous for you?”

(XXVIII) Oh my God, gives him determination,
the softness of clever the wisely understanding, and gives spacey relieve
on Your doors as You promise; the easiness for
souls of patient, waits also hopes the dearest sweetheart.

(XXIX) Oh The Inmost Sweetheart, he doesn’t mean to refuse Your kindness;
he just sighs and complains, all of his heart you understood.
You wish if he based on your shoulder only, don’t You?

(XXX) The news of tears nervousness is the winning from You,
it is your light, not for him the nobleness;
each flat is curved the much heavier sadness,
if settled up until here how to make intimation?
He is your fragment who misses lovely to be with you.

(XXXI) The gray eyes, feet and hand are dirty with dust;
“will I be happy like them under the area
of Your love and lave? Clean the wet dirt on the feet into Your lake
in the cocoon of sincerity, you pour onto.”

(XXXII) “Satisfies to pile the feeling and I receive
you be really angry to me because of mistaken gets out loosely
the abstract happiness; you laugh be blended over with the hate to miss
at the times watch my hypocrisy to you.

(XXXIII) I hear a star on the sky above
say the word to me; “Don’t I more bankrupt?
The human being moves freely while my fate is waiting?
The energy gave is used up, I can not do more
as the people dream on me. Thus be sincere to receive
as long as you are still breathing. “After that, the star is lightless
and never seen back at the similar nights.

September 30, 2000. Gedong Kuning Yogyakarta.



The Water Zam- Zam For You
Nurel Javissyarqi

(I) All the time of empty space, ghost for specter of yearning,
room should be empty, creates the strange voice in the ear of bird;
the power of absorbing is back, dust is scattered around from the weakly walls.

(II) Just like this or exaggerates the problem,
enough for storm of hurricane that born the beginning world of holy fire,
the worshiping is done together with the one who enters into the soul of feeling,
doesn’t recorded become mystery; whose ghost be brave to accompany (?).

(III) So overripe the spirit’s nest of the effort of civilization,
the long time to scale, whole universe helps,
in accelerated of motion of fate light of change.

(IV) The light of sky is opened, the color for me and for them,
the fireworks in the middle of night, the angels is small beads- stars;
be poured you felt the many kind of flower in the hand,
but useless if without destination.

(V) Best friend, calm down,
at the clear lake you enjoy the stalks of thinking,
grass of feeling on the dew be spruced up into the mirror, the eagle’s eyes of wanderer;
once grain is fell down, chord playing is rolled on the stage of the world.

(VI) The one who gets into the pole climbs down the valley,
together with the sun moves body- freezing a bit be molten,
then you got the stars copulate the light;
the tear of wood’s dew turns into crystal at the tied strong willing.

(VII) He spends all the energy of morning’s aroma in lonely way,
purses are moved away, the cone-shaped objects of musing is understood,
item means incarnate become the magnet, the grains of iron adheres
onto the self strongly, the energy of natural power.

(VIII) The self’s universe of loyalty makes into time and space, far away
recites tembang to compose the ballad of mysterious
aims to the stillness point of meditation.

(IX) Someone misses his cave of meditation,
watches around the nest of spider; then he is piercing the ceiling,
the light of bluefish of life has been breaking trough since from the slot of secret.

(X) When doesn’t understand, he released from the energy of gravity;
wanderer is building the house, the stones of mountain unite the fate,
the earth’s thirsty of everlasting splendor, aims to the centuries of thrust.

(XI) From behind the doesn’t understood thing, he had the content;
feels the wafting of dust into the pores of human’s heart
be touched and moved to see the existence of God’s line.

(XII) Situation enters to make a hole into the soul, be cracked by the atmosphere
also unites them; at the immeasurable era won’t be back,
the God’s wish as how the inner heart does.

(XIII) It spends the ancient’s aroma,
the history place as the birth of myth- legend;
sometimes, the human is forget on the ambush,
be free to be lulled beside certainty.

(XIV) If just finish it comes out in real,
in front of the door accosts the firmament;
its breath is universe, its twin brother is the cloud of soul,
the spreading out of light peeps at its beauty,
flies away without law except the God’s wish.

(XV) Remembers on the past grasses, the air delivers
the aroma of flower on the shaking stalk;
that is the chirps of bird flies at night
alike ships wade the wave,
sails the life be spread out with the seas,
fight for the beach must have scarified.

(XVI) The spirits room into the space around the firmament,
the paint brush dances to wander the map, and the sky always blue,
the cloud herds the season and yearning, the place for you is my heart,
the blue one, the face of yearning meets the kapok of yearning on the royal bed.

(XVII) The land is fertile for the seeds, the lake for its fishes,
the sea’s wave with its patient salts the beach,
the feeling is completed, the mountain has the tree of giant tamarind fruit;
hope on the waited presentation, the form of a boy misses.

(XVIII) After long sleeping, the moving are flogged,
the conviction is buried for centuries and now is raising again,
to collapse the stones, collide those statues;
be cracked and be molten without yearning.

(XIX) It lifts the flopping water with the color of mature up;
the hundreds years teak’s tree, the skin become thicker stands firmly,
its branches are big its stems are fresh, its leafs are green and be wider.
Because of it be fall off or blossoming, the fast wind is just
the truth princess; she keeps tough to accost the changing of season,
its root pierces the earth unites the wind,
and the rotation of river has the field of cloud.

(XX) The eyes tinged watches the night- noon without tired,
at the old and weakly body, whole its wings are knowledge;
has been flying since from one continent to the others, its claws
grip the head, and they are more jumpy.

(XXI) It is the incarnation of past century, perching on the cluster of rock;
the life watches strangely at the afternoon of be quiet on the power.
Want to stop before it is blew by the darkness of night,
the faces are roaming, its wings are thick,
and again, its shadow is creeping the death.

(XXII) The story pandemonium, when it is dying on the desert of Sahara,
the wanderer help it , giving it a gulp of water as the brighter;
its said,
that water came out from the feet of Ismail whom struggled in thirsty.

(XXIII) It flied to step on the bluefish stair, the news are broadcasted
to the whole universe. The angels are envious, when the it shake hand with the prophets,
seeing face to face with the whole heart; begging for mercy of all greedy,
on the sign of its dream in the noon, which without safe of the place.

September 26, 2000, Kadipaten Kulon Yogyakarta.



FOR J.W.V. GOETHE, I
Nurel Javissyarqi

(I) Thousand of haunting pull my hair,
together with the sun passes over the seventh days of earth,
twelve full moon, drizzle and hot day stings.
Which night, watches the forever stars,
on the savannah of coarse grasses, when the mist spread out the doubt;
the air begins to be breathed by thinking, mysterious doubt are swallowed.

(II) The necklace surrounds the neck of angel,
doesn’t wider than the back of knife; be forged by the light of moon,
be glistening to strike the soul of accounting. The blood is poured out
as fresh as the stomach of virgin girl, which is drew by own sword.

(III) To your Faust, I learn the seven secret of nature,
all spirits hypnotize me, grants to the city’s line of silent;
we teach the fast wind blowing of releasing.

(IV) Because the cold of light precipitates,
the skin nearest with the fire, as the bridge for the power;
crash over as how the war on the altar of inner heart does.

(V) This is the children of spiders eat their mother; the human,
are deceived to eat the happiness, similar like the thousand charming doors.

(VI) On the black and mossy stone, the conversation is silent and empty;
the humid assaults onto the bosom of fighting, the leafs are shaking.
The dew of topaz are fell off by rolling, on the hand incarnates become diamond.

(VII) Together with the real dawn, the abstract dawn is swallowed,
to the bushes of the cave’s inside, the relief is read, the testimony is poured out.

(VIII) The snow melts at river bars,
copulates the light to incarnate become the glass;
there is the stains of diamond at the old tree,
which pleasure to plunge the human being.
Trough the red light, its ray is steady to be doubt,
swing to the heart as how the apples are sliced do.

(IX) The yelling of children on the hunt farm,
the mother’s crying on the country of oppression;
the mysterious fire creates the shadow at mid night,
they are sick to watch the mysterious. And the heart is trembled,
the lava breaks the bone to rib the flesh and pull out the fiber,
be peeled off the soft skin after been burnt.

(X) Full chance to finish the work,
be burdened with ill of passion to be free billow;
the cold sweat is coming out heavily after the jacket of thick overcast
to close the body of sky; the fever has the symptom to be everlasting.

(XI) At the limit of it doesn’t, the soul of life is hanging around,
stepping down the stair of nervous, flying upward like steam of tombstone;
the eternality is carved, before the dusts burry the periods.

(XII) The blood circulates to whole life, the passion of holy fire
flexing the weather of humid; trouble noisy of the soul
pounds on the doors, then the gate of nature is read.

(XIII) At the point of ravine’s border of the certainty,
the crows are perching on the stalks;
when the flower are blossoming to hug the mountain side,
the reciting of worshiping tembang is passing over the valley of cluster rice field.

(XIV) The monument of glass is planted on town square at mid town,
they are sprucing up to the mirror to see their own faces. And,
the bats are flying at the fontanel of old post office,
while the little birds are shivered,
to infiltrate the line, running helter and shelter out of the arena.

July 5, 2000, Yogyakara.



FOR J.W.V. GOETHE, II
Nurel Javissyarqi

(I) Faust, I hear you in the noisy
the side of my spirit; the hills make line to test this climbing,
far profile on the top of snow mountain is mine.
You freeze the body of rain, the kapok assaults
your robe, whom rumpled for me is the old of your face;
watch the ancient of the world from everything exist.

(II) You are silent similar like the ice statue,
but the hot of your thunderous soul calls them,
to me will present the dancing on the stage,
when everything is sink in your judgments.
I spread the fragrant flowers on the yard of holiness,
the water copulates the rose to splash to the kingdom of light;
the happiness of live gives, special for the guiding of ransom.

(III) I be relieve to visit the bitters,
the one who double crosses, let him be happy for a while;
victory in the graveyard or hopes, this is
the heart of eternality, determining the intention.

(IV) The calling of height’s spirit of sky’s yearning,
which is composed before we mean the observance of religious duties.

(V) Roaming fire destroys the east- west
for the satisfying of sign, the craziness keeps looking for the stupidity,
until get old haven’t found yet, embroiders the time of complain;
isolation in the prison, his soul drops if only past away.
Got free from the jail, the birds don’t desperate,
because Margarete paid it with love that could kill;
her poison is delicious swallowed by the fullness.

(VI) Is it here the place, die in embittered condition,
the eagle chopping the whole body up, doesn’t miss my brain;
I fly together with it, without you realize your satisfaction.

(VII) From Faust I run after the shadow of soul to hunt the ghost,
infiltrates the tendons of my aorta, fresh blood is pouring out; who is
taking a bath in the lake of blood? The assassination on upside down street?

(VIII) I am the everlasting earth that you thrust in the seeds of paddy;
the teak trees, flowers being fragrance,
the wind gives breathing to spell the cloud on the beach.
I am alone to be stabbed by the horrible stillness,
in the frozen of time to melt the consciousness;
the crying of regret in the hole of graveyard.

(IX)The expected way of the death of opinion
on the short deal; broken of rose,
its thorn scratch the skin and light off the light.

(X) This is the quiver of soul of change;
the direction of the sailing ship is wading the hoping,
cleaved the wave on the power of seriousness.
The carcass birds flap to the edge of beach,
at the rock foreland, the stars are glittering at the end of night.

(XI) The swaying of lotus’s stalk blossoms the sheath,
on the middle of lake together with the algae and the fishes,
while the lamps of fishermen by net is shining as far as the throwing.
Morning, the dew’s dropping of leaf’s height tinkles like the chord playing,
the song of peace at the first is the desire,
then the meeting wake the courage up.

(XII) A glass of kohwa is getting to cool, as the color of white cloud the bright of
moon, inserted at the nights evict your sleepy,
leave the ever been through, walk on the looked for,
onto the slope of sweetheart’s hill, got loose away of leafs
know intimately the dark and light of the sun.

(XIII) In here is the location, all roaming are answered;
haunt the leveling building, the doors for hoping are opened.
That is the owl delivers the bats greeting,
call the heartbeat, stabbed at groin of
fingers, catch the mist to hope on the grains of lave.

(XIV) There is the one come suddenly, pound on the door of bosom,
the empty house is occupant by the spiders, the dusts get old;
at his forehead is lined regret of the sun,
doesn’t able to supply the bone, blazed of soul fire.

(XV) Walk along on the weather without ever completely,
arranges the stones as level as the wafting cloud;
that is the twilight that yet form the stupa.
Where is this place? At the height of hill,
or a kapok is released to harvest ammunition;
fly with the fast wind without mind to keep visited,
even as thin as the gravity of jealous to tie up the rope of horse.
That miracle black magic horse, its master comes the storm,
thousands rain of bullet embed without have chance to see the trace of
the happening, but the poet knows before and after.

(XVI) Where are you come from? Behind the sediment of gray cloud,
or lie down in my bosom; same faith doesn’t loose away by the flare of stone,
the faces doesn’t betrayal above the stove of the people of Mephisto,
only the dancing of sincerity, the wine of repeatedly chant part of the confession of faith flies upward
leaves the throne of meeting, more than the love and lave.

(XVII) Very black stone is split by the light of conviction;
war at the limit of skin of inner heart is as thin as the breathing of abdomen,
similar like the creating of stone of the resister, or
drops the snow off, melts at the height of ocean.
And climb up to sink the island,
as big as alley of needle, pours out heavily to the whole
corners; the limit of consciousness of faith in the throat,
therefore engage in such recitation before get into the war.

(XVIII) Faust, sometimes, you more than the angels
also lived off the grade like the mangy donkey;
deviated alliance together with black cat,
you dipped the ink then you painted it,
until the whole universe were in dark.
The carbon black cloud went in procession thickly
by the pushing of wind of east- west,
summarized without the light of moon,
only the lightning of thunderclap you assumed as the divine inspiration.

(XIX) Where the old spirit raise up to sue,
the soul be back to meet the earth get more reap,
delivers the spongy bones to the rest place.

(XX) Catch your self, the roaming soul,
whatever you like to do with casting net, or with the net of spiders,
that is much better to feel the season’s blowing;
wind and water you accept, summarized to the body.
Melt the air’s pores of flied time
as far as the feet press between the back of horse,
as strong as the aura doesn’t release the beauty face.
You fly away fast, a lance was tied up the flag of courage
with booming war dancing,
persuade the cloud to spread out the air and reap the stillness,
to the throne of maiden, the beginning of inner heart incarnates become intention.

(XXI) The one who doesn’t want to get old hunt a shoulder lifting of female coffee;
war, the wave attack the rock foreland of periods,
alike the apples almost ripe at tree of sun,
always give energy, doesn’t miss and for sure is felt,
its leafs are fell off together with forced understanding of time.

September 7, 2000.



NIETZSCHE, I STAY IN DIET
Nurel Javissyarqi

(I) Nietzsche, what torch you turn on,
until the kingdom of my soul is molten, together with you I incarnate become dust.

(II) Nauseating garbage, flood the brain and sword;
it’s worn out, there is no mirror’s cracking to reflect the light.

(III) In failure, I am fat maggot who makes party in
your field. I- you; hide behind the black of mud
by stingingly of the sun.

(IV) The one who brings disorder to inner heart,
why are you build the foundation? And what are you clothed with the silk for?
While your wild behavior makes color does not only as the tempter.

(V) In the other ripped paper, watch differently
at the corner of mind; doesn’t a ball move circling,
or waterwheel flows electric power?
Don’t put on the head, before found the summit of ocean,
because there is no other else, musing is the grain of salt;
it returns, approach to the sun.

(VI) The twilight of image at the straits of Dwipa,
drags you; god- goddess to undermine the moon,
and shadow groans in the thickness;
bodies of revenge are freezing and get out in solid way.

(VII) How crowded the one who getting in pray is
surrounding the moon, walking around on the blue sky;
odor of your soul is a flower kanthil at the cloud,
that is ever lost in the pleasure park.

(VIII) Obviously ask you into the deepest heart,
before you are realized be with him;
how far the distance of our age to step,
between time- place they estimated,
for your resignation to decide to meet.

(IX) The mist of periods is thicker in every freshmen of morning,
disperses by lifted ball of sun onto you,
a line reminding of lost, when stupidity is dark.

(X) Afternoon, twilight, red folds the white cloud,
this is the crazy anger of firmament at the dark of great east,
on the times hang the remembering on,
when the yearning of night in the bosom of period.

(XI) You let forced reality to settle,
you embed bone in the depth of world of consciousness;
this is the myth, or fishes betrayals to swaying of surge,
be dumped in dry, be burnt on the seashore.

(XII) Butterflies kiss the loveliness of flowers in the park,
fully with the romance of color, moved the esthetics of German,
I mean Gandring flares on the field of loving;
collects the cloud, wave’s horse of ocean’s wind
aims to the decreased night, only the morning star in your eyes.

(XIII) The word is suffer constantly on desert of tired to step the light,
that’s why sleep for a while, in order the night be embraced it thrust;
except the flowers lotus, the other flowers are not blossoming,
therefore let’s make friendship, before the world are sunk.

(XIV) God- goddess are mad, when there is
the one rubbing full moon onto the summit of casuarinas tree,
onto claw of dry tree, being done the arrogance of the world.

(XV) Stone bounces up, avoids javelin eye;
will be better to introspect our self when enjoying to be alone,
when diffusing grasses of wisdom, and let us
insist to move front, in n the war field of wise.

(XVI) All at once the words penetrate,
this is everlasting matting; I be with you and them
to eat meat and feel flying together.
In stomach of blindness; I am dragged by the wind
more than the height of wave. It’s never
for me to land, at door that lost by anxious.

(XVII) The air balloon is running confusedly;
this the great grand father’s owe to their children,
and the holy ritual is approaching to destruction.
At here as the place to battle, being born- being kilt.

(XVIII) The sky of twilight, your shadow is free to appear before,
at the marble’s hall floor of judgment;
an east one lost his eastern,
a west one lost his western,
runs over the era to the next door,
there is molten new world, aims to the superiority.

(XIX) The dark poison of hunger, flounders wings
of strength, leaves over the flat of all kinds of bones,
and the aorta is broken, releases the others.

(XX) At the stopping of time, desire of life is changed;
steel chain is corroded, oiled by the oil of color’s striping,
reincarnation of knowledge is rolling from era to era,
enters the wave into the wave of ocean.

(XXI) Dancer of time, whole light,
rain has thousand eyes on the roaring of a handful of dust,
souls of corn’s seeds are united become one into spirit’s holy place,
to the branch is growing up; buds of blossoming corn’s trees
sends news, on the overripe seeds share the beauties
and also happiness, aims to hinterland of town’s border.

(XXII) Now the time is fastening the light of wave,
the glistening of pebbles are broke, tinkled into the ear of soul,
on soul’s fibers of the meeting of same kinds love and lave
which unites aura’s particles of poet words.

(XXIII) I keep drag fully sleepy,
more than the night until forming of full moon;
won’t pour forth unless dug,
won’t snoring unless being forget,
won’t be in love unless touched in the heart.

(XXIV) Piling of temple stones for mastering of legend,
the one who cut the image statue off, why still curtseying departed spirit?
Makes your twilight be late at the horizon of responsibility of mysterious form,
don’t you take good care of it back.
Doesn’t the home of spiders get rain- hot?
You run to there and here for the mastering,
savage poison is tightly adhere, in the room of shaking hand.

(XXV) At the hill of change, the hand of wind to the others,
move in same way like the colors of flowers on the lake’s water,
or at the back garden, hoed at the skull.

(XXVI) A bat is slowly flapping; left
by its sons to bring disorder to the old city.

(XXVII) Pigeon flies following the moving of hand
of its master; searching for new destination, a season that changed is done.

(XXVIII) At early morning come to you,
from last night dream to enjoy the awaken,
sound of gulp is summarized by meaning in the rhythm of balance;
the buds accost, butterflies made greeting to the sun of twilight,
to the body of lake’s calamity, you are the world fully color.

(XXIX) You are jeering at Socrates with his dialogue.
Doesn’t the consciousness of your period follow his dancing?
This is the insect in the lotus’s lips sucking; above the paper
is staying still, while the dew is the ocean of his yearning.

(XXX) I don’t depend on words construction;
do you think a building is really true?
Don’t you see half parts of roof are leaked;
Glowworms is renewing the spirit of its light,
not on shape, but more into the aroma of prosperity.

(XXXI) Your words is right, the power on swaying value of leafs,
but the breathing one you deny; your simplicity
under Socrates and Plato, and you are
more than the decline of values.

(XXXII) Your determination to do something is equal with Vincent Van Gogh,
therefore I assault bosom; step on the all erectly grasses,
make sure the twilight of death, at the similar flashing sword.
As strong as the broken grass being upright,
the friend of Voltaire stretches our hand,
it is already now, before they vomit, and I stay in diet, I don’t eat your flesh, Nietzsche.

October 22, 2000.



THE CRAZINESS OF VINCENT VAN GOGH
Nurel Javissyarqi
“with her simplicity, woman can also be beauty” (Van Gogh)

I. History of paint

(I) The world is colorful,
night- noon, twilight and dawn,
stripe and stretch down to embrace the sky;
bats, crows, incarnate become history.

(II) Sharp dancing of paint are unsheathe,
similar like ripeness body- be pliant of the houri;
the sun is captured by the soldier of cloud,
the foots are trotting to the days of death.

(III) The paint hurts the body of canvas, thickly paint of anger,
that is the blood pouring forth, from inside of body is seethed hardly.

(IV) In here, the positions of craziness are arranged,
colors of the world, doesn’t satisfied the eyes anymore,
words, not even one satiating the ear;
cut by the period that don’t glorify the work,
then the beauties is fell headlong into the hole of ancient.

(V) Palette denies the paint, betrayal to tear the canvas;
the heart fully pain, without acetic acid there is no color of feeling.

(VI) Like the fermented palm wine has ability to drunk the galaxy;
turns the planet upside down, great difficulty to be crazy,
doesn’t give the freshmen.

(VII) When the great grand mother, didn’t know the color yet,
chiseling on wall of temple, deeply and shallow of its light;
flew trough river of legend, and the flood of tear
created the stillness, added the top of their meditation.

(VIII) Light- color as the coloring of the world,
its elements meet the universe of silent.
All flowing aims to estuary; “they tell the story each other,
meet the overflow of sea, be solid with the sweat of salt.

(IX) At the narrow room,
the air is moving back and forth repeatedly to create the color,
its aroma doesn’t be stock- still in amazement by the eras.

(X) Staring being far from, its characteristic is hidden,
copulates the freedom to guess,
with the galaxy’s particle of the light feeling.

(XI) Similar like calling,
the color of death at the beginning season of yearning,
stepping on clay land, sand is swampy,
the rhythm of song is reaching the dreams of yearning.

(XII) Van Gogh; “season for children,
to form the clay, create the doll.”
Heap of sand becomes building,
and the world is created from the loyal men.

(XIII) Night- day are collected,
gives another face for the wanderer of history;
skins the canvas of heart, small brush of destiny is moved actively.
Only the crazy one, whom be able to swirl the feeling,
body meet the abstract at address of sitting with cross leg,
then the full moon night is shining swamp,
the lotus is blossoming in the bosom.

(XIV) Who the one spend the color become the superiority,
equal with the saying of poet; pain of pen at the black of ink.
Papers of sacrificing, ruins of mist with wing,
breathe the smell of incense, before you run out of age.”

(XV) The times are wandering as the color of brave man,
similar like soft dust flies into eyelid;
or tear pouring out, by pealing of red onion.

(XVI) When looks the work then be trembled the sign,
be perfect in crazy at the color of composition of dizzy
make the enjoyer be lost, whom doesn’t guess.

(XVII) He is thirsty to plunge,
bathed with the paint to copulate the dry season,
draws the world pain of subject, roaming of
specter of yearning of the poet, for the children of its period.

(XVIII) Narrow and crowded around of the color stops the game,
lies down among the work, be closed the eyes with the dream of whole paint;
bodies are ripped apart by the palette, the paint brush be threw away onto the canvas,
broken- hang, looking for wrapper of bone.



II. Marriage of Van Gogh

(I) Your simplicity was threw out any direction until agree,
didn’t make the whole object;
unperfected painting gives maturity,
you are strangeness of fall headlong, cutter of hoping.

(II) The heart is hard beating without ever finish to wait,
you worried to miss, the colors of the twilight sky was roaring.

(III) The afternoon drags me to sink in the nights,
at bucket of putrid flower, injured woman is cured by sucking
lips of black rose, as soft as salve of ulcer of the time will come.

(IV) The days is in pain are also being happy;
watch the work to enjoy with nervous eyes,
overcast with short drizzle, aims to the spirits of blue craziness.

(V) He dumped away the robe of disturber, body of hermit
incarnates paintbrush on united canvas; mixed over in
the bosom, aroma of pain is pouring out, since from abstract well manner.

(VI) At the hill of the sun, wait the body being burnt,
the nights summarize cool to pick the flowers up;
this is the painting of eras before satisfied to disengage,
leave in dry of judgment time.

(VII) Being lonely of the soul is frozen, a candle is not kissed by the flame;
the pain of ear incarnates painting, then they be crazy to pay attention.

(VIII) Hot weather is swimming in the depth,
the narrow power of wind east- west slaps the face;
I am naked sweetheart, for life to satisfy you,
then the soul breaths of enjoyer, by your attention.

(IX) Pain marriage, won’t be easy to be got loose,
sweetheart of his paintings are no more left, and the deception are more pleasant,
cloud- cumulus tell story about the pouring forth of solid blood at the future.

(X) Long pain pays fully lave;
he was wallowing in a mud hole, pounding on the cracking of land,
for loving to them, missed to the craziness.

(XI) Sand of seashore is scattering around on the face of twilight,
dumped his self off onto the edge ocean of feeling;
when he developed the world, almost finished at the decrepit shack,
and the dusts fell onto the floor, from more weakly sky.



III. The self-figure of Van Gogh

(I) On the canvas of sick,
the history paint of great grand mother trots the death,
comes closer- sticky to the era of youth in the end of your life;
is dying man, among the happiness of gleaming color.

(II) He was lost in the rotation rhythm of consciousness,
stand straight erectly feeling lives the frozen to be cut off by bad luck;
Who be brave to receive resolutely?

(III) Keep painting to hope on his shadow be far away
behind the death, its wings aimed to the dream;
it develop for years, the sky was not in certain of its level.
Van Gogh said; “I extend the face, I hang nailed
with window of the moon, and the glass roof- tile as the sun.”

(IV) The noon cleanses sweat, realize be in crazy to make work,
like the teenage time stupidly in the jail of disappointed;
times are framed with painting for the firmament of soul,
and someday later, the students come to visit the room of history.

(V) I draw clearly most handsome face
among self- figure (personality); “I am Van Gogh haunt you.
Dream, that is my world after death, and this writing,
Lead you, master, to reach the kingdom of my soul.”

(VI) The heartbeat is trembled;” look at my picture,
I use the colors to follow it, and its young
support me in every periods. My painting is extended
on the walls of testimony.”

(VII) I shake sickly in the game of color;
stupidity, that is my cleverness alike rusty sword,
incomparable happiness, circling- glazier’s putty to centuries pain,
the alliance of my paint’s colors, to their canvases.

(VIII) “Oh, I ever throw those smiled self- picture,
then I pick it up, I adhere it on the wall of ceiling in my room.
Every guest that come to the house, go home with laugh,
Either does miss a lot like revenge is unsheathed, at those painting
which is still boiled, together with my young friends.”



IV. The Death of Van Gogh

(I) The sky’s gate is opened, the land is cracking widely,
didn’t avoid to enter into a bier,
didn’t brought whatever beloved,
didn’t be accompanied by whatever hated.

(II) Sleep together with the rhythm of insects, fragrant and dry of
Cambodia flower; the crying of regret, left to make a hole on the body- soul.

(III) Above the fidgety sky,
wonder maybe dragged for climb down the way of live again.

(IV) Past carrying of a bier that he smiled at;
the angels pinched the cheek, he said,
the fairy pick the kissing up, the matter is.

(V) Uncertain death, be silent from the noisy of speculators.

(VI) Felt so comfort, in weakly range of birth,
freshmen from something, after sick harvested the full moon.

(VII) Just like these, the fairy were surrounding the meeting doesn’t
need time, everything runs fully blue color;
doesn’t obey by the night- noon and everything seem so pure.
The painting of past century also the next are shown up
in my rest they said, I have been closed the eyes.

(VIII) Over here the soft air having color, infiltrates into the branches of cloud,
and the color of flowers doesn’t same, this clearly more has breathing.

(IX) Van Gogh stated the sentences firmly;
“ the craziness shouldn’t be full, if only the feeling overflow
to the different color. Mean time, the post of life is in the death.
Together with this,
I leave the rough and dismembered sketches.”

October 5, 2000, Eska at the near of GajahWong.



A SHORT SCRIPT: ZAITUN: THE LIGHT ABOVE THE LIGHT
Nurel Javissyarqi

Prologue (QS. 24: 35)

“He is the light giver of the sky and world.
The resembling of His light alike the jail of light
(miskat), in which there is the light in it. Those light
is exist in the glasses; those glass is alike the stars
so bright like the jewels, which is lighted on from the tree
whom has so many grace; that is the tree of zaitun,
which come from not from west, and also not from the east.
Which only its oil, is almost shine, even
does not light on with the fire. The light beyond light!”



I. Opener

(A young wanderer walk on the stage,
he say):
Be fresh my youth which just blossom,
rarely dew on the face of black rose are rolling
when the wind of alliance all at once stabbing all destitute,
with glaring eyes copulates the room of vacuum.

Am I the one who poorly lives off the grade?
Herds sheep without head,
and putrid maggot in its mother womb.

It is the time,
arrest for vagrancy from gangways of town,
eats from garbage of hope of greedy;
deeper in thick of your heart sheaths
at the edge of beach of that street.

My hand is scratched by prick of cactus,
wild- be wilder on coral reef;
its pain into the whole direction,
crying into the corners of firmament,
and the eyeballs become angry,
does not different from shocked dawn
by the abstract grade of life,
shut up!

(The light be focus on screen similar like the moon,
he is continuing the words):

The bodies of trees are die in dry up,
needles of grass break the heart of moon,
in every form explicitly states the death,
in every heartbeat explicitly states the birth;
I incarnate, your ghost part.

(That young boy get the coin,
then watching, and he continue to say):

A pair of faces are impossible to meet,
even the truth is united become one;
is there the crying on this flat,
your shy loving?
Is this true the face of God?
Or my sweetheart’s face that disappeared by the rotation?

The one who comes from the North Pole and the South Pole,
the one who comes from the east mountain and west mountain,
come here, to valley of civilization chasm;
market of cultural waits for you,
even though buy exchange of love.
It is the nature,
Which lies intact willing down
to the deepest niche.

(His heart is hard beating fast,
he hold on his bosom then be weakly, then
he is back to get up from the black of stage.
And the lightless searchlight is slowly shining
His faded face, he continue to say):

I am your son, alas immortal life,
in here the place, all kinds of bones are forged by the fire,
on the streets of flared night,
until the revenge is beginning to disappear,
similar like the fruit of kapok’s tree is getting old,
spreading out the kapoks to fly around;
visiting the sky, aims to the kingdom of God.

Wave of ocean at its height,
the cloud beats- flops
on the space- ceiling of the stage world,
as far as the passion of blue period turned to be white
beside the self of human who go away.

(A woman come to him like lost,
and neared by her that poor man while say the word);

I hear, whispering of the time, the rumor is sonly come,
thousands bright light of glowworm dance on the air;
is this answer, or still as the sign?

In every level is the color,
when cheek is pealed by romance;
wings of books are closed in the fingers half,
Incarnates quality to stab in pocket of musing.

Usually, I pass over the pain of branch; that wind said,
infiltrates to the far of your eyes,
reaches the yearning suspiciously.

Is this your poor attention?
Look at the hill embraced with the memory.

(The man reply with the words):

The hills that is surrounding your place to living,
that is the mysterious cup for you;
a piece of dew’s dropping a glass of ocean,
scales the heart that far away from you,

The water also the most virgin smile you perform,
that figure is wafting on the cloud, don’t know where
for now, only the wind I know, be sticky on the body.

(The girl explicitly stating the words):

Your adult is impossible to forget that,
the taking of your breath- my breaths are still same,
united in the soul acted like king.

(The man answer):

Yes right, we are from the height of east and west,
alike the zaitun oil so bright without flame of fire,
because the devil is spotted can’t reach to here.
This the territory only for the faith;
my conviction is gathering become one,
my hesitation is stop and become stupa.

I tell every story about the secret of soul,
In order you to be carefully in front of the mirror,
Eva Braun, Balkis also Roro Jonggrang,
I am Hitler the cruel one, the loyal Solemn,
or Bandung Bondowoso who spitted on the ground.

I carry on the kingdom of your soul, until you don’t have it,
and them, bring your breath come to here.

(The woman cry sob,
while say the words respect):

Step down my small valleys, your hand is stretching,
sweat becomes steam, the heart gives melody,
and the blood is wiped out without anything left.

Alas my period’s best friend, sucks this soul of your lover;
I am incarnate the mother of eternality now,
above the little piece of your hair till to me,

I inherit silent, follows the fallen leafs
on the graveyard of regret of cambodia flower,
who the one pinches, won’t get sap anymore.

(Then the man replies):

Who comes from one pole, doesn’t want to melt his self,
he doesn’t always perfect, even though thousands of book he learns;
at near me still like the blind man or the lost man, and I
won’t open the doors,
but, take this my lady,
a coin of silver’s doesn’t a refusing,
whom I found at the middle way of the wanderer’s street.

(The man is giving that a coin,
while emphasized the words):

Held it tight in your fist,
that east and west won’t never meet,
the north pole also west pole, it always be like that forever.
But this, in the same currency,
I mention as the worldly marriage.

(The man and woman suddenly get pain,
falling then die,
only their both hand are meeting one another,
by a coin of currency of destiny).



II. Together

(in a bier there is two human corpse,
the wanderer and the lost woman.
The fourth of bier carrier, all at once said):

The proof of loyal is the death,
the proof of meeting, inseparable one.
We carry on the shoulder of the death bodies,
only for a lost peace;
both of them are filled emptiness one another,
who sprinkles the meaning, gives the content at later day.

They already knew, reality and mystery are embroidered one another,
doesn’t different like the mind and thinking. They also understood,
the life always in the affliction’s times,
only for perpetuates genuineness of the purpose also hope.

And they finally understand, the world is not everything,
only for the one who seriously aims to the final limit,
finds the luster of light- God’s light.

We will burry them later in the hole of waiting,
postponement of answer from questions.

Truly is the most valued in the world is the soul;
breaths whom be able to breathe to the same kind of human.

(the fourth of bier carrier, symbol of east people
and west people, who don’t want to united,
except in the party of death)



III. Dissolving away

(both of bride of the death are sitting
on the rocking chair of “heaven”. The woman
is bringing fan, the man is handing handkerchief,
and the four fairy come to the both bride)

(First fairy performs;
a flower, a glass of red wine,
a tying of paddy, and an egg)

(Second fairy performs;
a stalk of waru tree with its leafs,
a feather of eagle, and a handful of dust)

(Third fairy performs;
sheets of paper, a bottle of ink,
a cup of dew, a bowl of snow)

(And fourth fairy performs;
a piece of pebble, a knife, a bird
that slaughtered, which its blood is still fresh,
also an overripe apple)

(The first fairy say):
a flower is your heart,
a glass of red wine is your conversation,
a tying of paddy, an egg
are the form of your sincerity.

(The second fairy say):
a stalk of waru’s tree with its leafs
is the wings of your love and lave,
a feather of eagle is as your pen,
and a handful of dust , the beginning of you came from.

(The third fairy say):
the sheets of paper is your age,
a bottle of ink is as your struggling,
a cup of dew, your crying,
and a bowl of snow is the form of your sincerity.

(And the fourth fairy say):
a piece of pebble is resembling like the moon or the sun,
a knife is the symbol of your thinking, and doesn’t
a slaughtered bird is the submission of your inner heart,
while an overripe apple as something to perfect.

(The man is standing up from the rocking chair, then say).
Everything comes from the emptiness, the holy inexistence,
aims to the wishes:
pours the wine into goblet,
its foam onto the whole fingers of them.

With this handkerchief, I caresses,
how wet they are, sweetheart
(he is calling his sweetheart):

Fan their neck that almost cut off,
because of watching the height of our reaching.

(The man and the woman all at once say):
We are on the top of most noble rock foreland,
under it is thunderous of surge and applause;
we are sheltered, by the light of the first God’s line.

Nagan lor 21, Yogyakarta.



EXPLANATION OF THIS BOOK
Nurel Javissyarqi

How I pay the well manner of him(brother Suryanto Sastroatmodjo); who deliver this work with pray, without want to paid back except the sincerity special for the people of reader. He was the nearest teacher that mean best friend, on the comfort of his soul with relieved; the plots blew from the heart, that is why its explanation incarnate become the seed of human kind’s lesson.

In the first publication, there is no this explanation, because at that time; I was still narrow- minded to something related to the sensitive poetry. Until born the solid agglomeration; be far away of lately of brightness. Because of it, I hope the reader would like to muse repeatedly, from the frozen become melted into the lake of understanding.

When, the first time discussed about this book at Purna Budaya Yogyakarta. Big brother Imam Budhi Santoso said; you are like Kris, the Gandring kris. Which is danger to someone else, also your self.” At the another time, at interval of the atmosphere of my existence in those city of culture, together with the Komunitas Sastrawan Tugu Indonesi; culture observer Zainal Arifin Thoha, said his comment; “trough Takdir Terlalu Dini, Nurel Javissyarqi has ever break in the literature of Yogyakarta,.” Moreover, I remembered for really how the comment of one of the poet. Sorry, I am shy to mention his name.” He said; this work is much cleverer from the man who makes it.” (That was what he said, and then my heart was saying yes, by the consciousness of my self that is too dumb).

The citation of working paper of this book at Taman Budaya Surakarta, by brother Zaelani Tammaka; I still feel the warm of courage’s flare of the poetizing by Nurel Javissyarqi. And it seem, the power of saying kind of the speech’s epic, which is the one of specialist of school of Koran’s literature. Very has chance to keep dig out, and someday-later will be able to rich the vocabulary of language of Indonesia’s literature that too far to Europe- centrism. I continued to speak; if not wrong, Octavio Paz had ever say; the red string of poetizing, between the writer with his work is the reality that is developed, expand in the behavior of mannerism of his psyche. Therefore what will be if my conviction say red, while your belong is purple; because of that, the black of stage will be coloring. This is the procession’s distance of intervention of reality and idea. Or my conviction says; I wonder do not give any tradition, but the one who will bequeath tomorrow’s civilization sonly, also blessed by all country, this the hoping in the heart; amen.

At the middle of this book launched, a lot of perception also their speculation to me; a child that is not really realized yet about the power of intellectuality. However, when everything are offered, the reactions appear in numbers. This could be yes for the anthology of breakthrough at the poetizing at that time; confused, random and has quality I guess. The statement of thesis also antithesis explodes in the depth of seethed soul. Alike advice a flying bird at the line of firmament; move fast without care, its trick to the air, also dive sharply penetrate the pit of stomach. I offer the alternating plot, in order be acrobatic on the stage of seethed, be able to create the room that in fact is empty. What you assumed as the world fully crowded with color? Moreover, at interval of few yelling of time when visit to the friend’s residence, I ask the question; can this work be understood? Most of them were answered; yes, it can, but must trough the leveling of reading until two or three times. If like that, then thanks God, and if doesn’t be knew any at all, of course they understand on what aroma is awaked up; the color is gulped for expanded destiny. The procession won’t finish unless his destiny picks the self up.

Maybe some of it is right; the ballads that I wrote are not as strong as Balada Orang- orang Tercinta by WS. Rendra (I assumed he is teacher, even I am not met yet). However, at least I have courage; this is my ballad. Once more, in this self there is strong willing to be showed up from the ballads of brother Suryanto Sastroatmojo; Balada Serasi Denyutan Puri. Basically, I am too much confidence on my self, or perhaps this conviction is a kind of lamp’s flashlight on the town square, which without use to light the street. However, it will interest a lot of people attention sonly to look up, as the sign for there is the noisy at there.

I become remember to Brother Joni Ariadinata, said; “you must learn to the works of the people you hate. The works of people that you assumed as the rival.” Then remember me at the courage of its personality; where, in his room was hanged the tight rope on, as the strong motivation to the hand of fate, in order to not released from the hand of in passing taste.

Honestly, in each repeated publication of my work. Some of it was occurred the repairing. Its hope to reach the most level, trough the correction on wrong typing and reprocess, on the eyes of signer in the middle of life’s journey. Revising from the pattern that exist already there, does not something taboo, Rudolf Cristoph Euchen was doing that excessively, for the freshmen of his period. That hoping is like what Voltaire to Nordberg said;”what deserved to pay good attention from someone’s history is not all of thing that has been working. But, only what have been done, and deserved to be bequeathed for the future.”

The things that I take care of, open the sheets of possibility (The God’s grace), and with the result that, all the strange caught become usual. Because there is nothing in this world is new if read since from the highest conviction; faith. However, it does not mean to erase the concept of perforation above that I am developing. Because the working of finding of human kind is everywhere, surely has the breathing of specialist, also each influencing. I remembered on the process of this personality become so sure with every tools planning of arrangement of the city of imagination, which integrated into the mind. How beauty when the problem is summarized by the submission; the work is really come from the confusing of working, then receive the reality with relieve, as the place of soul’s meditation.

All the one who comes shall returns to God, because, however, the human’s consciousness on God’s restrain; this is the mature refusing, on what Mao Tse Tung said; where is the human’s precisely thinking comes from? Does it come from the sky? No. Does it have been exist in the human’s brain? No. The precisely thinking of human only be able to come from the social practices. Only can come from three kinds of social practices, they are; struggling for production, struggling of classify, and scientific experiment.

However, for me, a line of words; only can come, is the deathly thing, ignore the others truth. Then, I ask the question to you; what Mao said was not just the flashing of thinking from the social’s working? Do you really realize when writing something? Doesn’t sometimes; when, you found new thing that maybe from the memory too, it does not impossible from the giver of healthy? Is the doctor assurance his healthy? Do you health on the brains says? Does it enough just think without inner heart? In addition, can the scientific of mind feel in the reality?

Apparently our working is still too long; it remind me on what have Picasso said; “the whole world open for us. Everything is waiting to be worked.”

November 14, 2005, Monday at afternoon kliwon, Lamongan.



EPILOGUE FROM THE WRITER: SILENTLY I AM WRITER*
Nurel Javissyarqi

Oh my God, shower to this my good brother the creativity that
rich and abundance. Make his intellectual work as the science
usefully and spout the brightness for the human kind
whom glorify the mannerism of thinking “Cogito ergo sum”
(Maman S. Mahayana, via short messages of self phone)

This is the great snapping out, the touching of God’s grace that incredible to be expected, from someone I admire at the mannerism of writing. The Lebaran Days of self also all at once the big moment for Islam people, when the pray is reverberated sincerely; the efforts of perspective is fully light showered with the brightness.

I be the self, as if do not believe the overflowed of God’s grace trough the soft hand of him. It is large enjoyment when the praise and compliment are delivered even trough the most selfish is climbing, a kind of, when peeping at the science seeker on the wood’s walls of school of Koran. Or, in the middle of stingingly sun meaning the book of life at the time of fasting.

I hope there is no conceit sticky inside of me that just knew the world of literature of around; it is the species of great of the great quality, the literature in the middle of scientific classify. Where, hope the move- sway- passion of the hand of same human kind, only to deflect peace of the world.

Alhamdulillah that was the stepping up when it was really planted the grateful thanks to the presence of The Big Power on the passionate grace; the loving for the atmosphere of the mankind’s prosperity. Finally, the acts produced, similar like the soft of well behavior, the sincerity of brain understands until clearly enough to brighten the treasure of human kinds.

The grateful thanks are the incarnation of sentences of Adam after awaked up from consciousness of sky only for running the life. For the holy thing would be expanded, on, basically of thinking with well mannerism, and Siti Hawa obeyed the laws of universe. With it the world rotate in sweet harmony, there is no right is disrespectful on the unclearly demand, by the temporarily situation. As if can’t be stopped when the fingers walk, perform the marriage of ink hardly, which have the breaths of holy. Moreover, the holiness have more meaning, if realize the important of black struggling of ink; translate the world of change only for touch each other of love together.

I hope that this is the other observance of religious duty area, when the places to do religious duty are not good enough to taken good care, because the hours are so tied lock the fence with suspicious. Alternatively, everything has religion, as the label on it is the decoration only, the effort of prestige caused has seen the cover only. While the content doesn’t care just like that, until have been has the rust- rusty in it, putrefaction on the destination, or misuse for pay revenge; alike just the attention for the same group.

Only the pray delivers these words to flow so beauty; there won’t be formed except trough the God’s laws. For the human kind only, the sweet hand can’t be pulled back unless by God’s power. The mono wish is the change inside, which its claws on the vibration of impulse have influenced by the distance of love- jealous. Alternatively, the times of forget hypnotized by beauty face of the tempter; that is the face of old and weak world, decorated for deceive the sleepy eyes of night. The effort of haziness that is usually inserted to the philosophy of big power, to make the ideology be free, the idea of his tyrant nation. There is interesting description, when the writer visits to him; the efforts of joy are embed from the consciousness’s teaching of life on the deed of wise for the one who compose it, fill the life with the simplicity. Simple philosophy, the most difficult I thought. I become remembered on the Hamka’s book, life philosophy, which describes the behavior deed of joy, which supported by the working of think- feel as the Human being, together with the tools of its universalism. Also he on his books, much echoing the literature of intellectuality at the intervals of discussing of literature as the stray man they said. Take good care of our self in front of the mirror being alone, under the policy of Far East.

Truly is I so shy to mean the pray for me, but as long as there is the good of it, some kind of good intention at the beginning, which the truth is be able to deliver unbearable energy, overloaded in passionate in the era of immeasurable time. Although pressed by tired and weary or even that is being in crazy. That intention more than the body, the shadow be far away reach the dawn of people’s waiting, while the doer is on the across of mind of possibility to get there.

Of course, with a glass of kohwa and many cigarettes, as friend of this writing. Would you like coffee? I hope this time, you are drinking it; a glass of kohwa together with the aroma of Indonesian archipelago. I remembered the good taste of past time Timor- Timur (I had a friend whom came from there; Fernando, he seen still love Jogjakarta). The taste of Timor Leste coffee straight to the head. There is a kind of opium; the opium of conflict, but let’s hope there is no more addicted conflict in the country of that our brother. Also are still there the minina bonita? When tasted the coffee of Lampung, ah, it’s delicious, too. That’s the way it is, when I am drinking a glass of kohwa slowly, what the happen was stray, but certainly the reader get the another shadow from this story; that is, enjoyable that is depend on the composing of address, the land that builds for the growing seeds of coffee was scattered yesterday.

I call this, two principle of enjoyable; the farmer’s tradition to expand the creativity in the guarding the quality of high taste, and the work of literature too. How beauty is, if you can enjoy the technique of this hospitality, which has a little strong willing and too immoral. Even in the simple house; normally words with no high- sounding, it is not the type of analyze guarantee for the developing intellectual of the reader. No, I don’t have that so good matter. Unless what the village’s boy that ever shepherding, and now become the shepherd of words; that is the speech on the color of unstable phenomena, in this great and useful country, he said.

I worry to the one who believes too much to his work that can develop the intellectual, used for the heart to be back in hiding; which is the cunning to stupefy the young of own country. Therefore, we should have the filter of reading of entered understanding, to the stomach of ideology of our country (our selves).

Only for pull the strings of pray, and show reality for the way, where the consciousness should step on its own feet. At the other place, Imam Al- Ghozali had ever say; don’t make a work when you hold the willing. A phase of psychology, where we have to finish the problem inside of us, after throw away the negative thinking, and then begin on the stepping of delayed time.

Develop from below, said poem (in Java language) Koh Hwat; we must balance the present and the passion to the future, and then we will get the phase of neutrality, the peace on the spirit of nature come closer. The arrow fly upward released from the pressing of bad passion aim to the bright destination, the clearly told wishes.

On the other hand, throw the ship’s cargo that is not important enough, when the coming of dangerous high wave occurs, this is the way of possibility to survive until to the cross of land. Because the body is contained the soul that rides it, for the important thing had passed trough the mandate, open the God’s mercy of entire world, brother R. Ng. Ronggowarsito gives a term on it, the literature of Jendra Ayuningrat.

Back to the top of pray, if I was not wrong about Descrates said; Cogito ergo sum. Then the writer remembered on the beauty of Islam theory that glorifies the deed of thinking. Does not waste the human’s chance to decorate mind’s moving for the compliment done. The truth is, it can ward off the occurred of poison drinking of Socrates in the past, on his nation people that totally dull- witted. Who didn’t believe to his thinking, because they were so obedient to the religion that has one eye importance.

It is true that the conviction sometimes born before occur the deeper thinking, otherwise, doesn’t when we are in the door of death of friend- enemy; we can observe the distance carefully, in order to the blood doesn’t be poured out uselessly. The efforts of war could be avoided, if does not assume that pouring out is the holy. When, thousands blessing love and lave flood the soul. Love onto the science does not mean then become blind fanatics, but how to keep observe the corners of jewel carefully, until that noble stone is finished.

Alternatively, that is the way of the journey of life, must get there is the respected martyr also the looser that too much more than the limit. When the one whom talk is the change; the evolution of thinking is moving, also the aroma of its spirituality is going up and upper, or, but; perhaps they feel had more than usual, in order there is no more feeling about the existence of ladder. Is this the escalator of the corrupters, or the rich men that just being done, on the feeling of isolation yesterday afternoon.

I enter the range area of literature in the blind- color condition, deaf- ear. Therefore, what I told to the reader, probably some kind of self backbites, if Nietzsche said, self-critics. However, I continue to step front, I do not want to be blind forever, this eyes does not want to be blind in their watching (opinion), when enter the area self-integrity, and of course with own understanding.

It does not mean that this self is very deceitful in the judgment, but I do not want to be poisoned by the understanding of their brain- mind that sometimes does not comfort in my personal stomach. Alhamdulillah, Allah gives the way, the way to state the grudges in public until were not occurring the placing items in bundles, which is caused by could not reel the age’s strings of nervousness. In here, truly is, I do not need to apologize, because the intention is clearly; on the contrary, I doubt on what they assumed as the achievement. However, caused for close the sentences; “that’s why, please forgive me.” Does not the word “sorry” can also mean as “good-bye, or, see you”. A word is sent only for the longing to the one who left behind; some kind of mystery, the energy of interrupt on the mysteriousness of word:

The word “sorry” is located in the address of between, the world of sky and the earth; the sorry of human to his God, sorry for the human kind to the others human kind. Which its mediator trough the signals of doing; does not modestly, also does not too much teaching. Except, if it is delivered trough sarcastic smiling, of course found out. Because the word “sorry” is in the space of neutral, no one can use it unless in the balance condition, if want the eternality of that word, for own- others humankind.

Two words in one breathing “thank you” that told by Octavio Paz in begun his speech when college the Noble of literature at 1990. The word “thank you”, in Roman language, is the extent meaning that occurred to pervade, save the power of physical and the power of spiritual. The words sorry, thank you and see you are pray. This I felt, those pray reach the sky of hope, when the holy steam is getting into the height.

Truly, I was shy to reply his pray, but I sent the replies short message, some kind like this to him and to the sky; let’s hope Allah shower His most beauty blessing to you, until each of striping gives benefit into the world and into the heaven, to the human being and the nature of God’s creating, amen.

Suddenly, new consciousness was born, felt as Wayne said in the Olenka Budi Darma’s novel; secretly I am writer. The thing that never guessed since I was kid until now, everything is running alike without stepping on the aware, similar like the flowing water; is it really feel the seriousness, the location of flowing? Or, the passing is just a railway that yet meaning. Is the certainty on the surface of the great large ocean? That can’t differentiate between himself with theory of searching from another sector, or perhaps what this I am doing, unarranged breathing on the different sitting place; resembling like tomorrow thinking or far day after tomorrow, that can’t be reached by the desire or even the passion.

May be? Alike, I ever talked about at the moment of launching the book Kajian Budaya Semi (the first book of Trilogi Kesadaran) in the campus of Untag, Surabaya, December 1, 2005 ago; which only knew the space- time only, doesn’t different from the crazy man be afraid to be crashed by car, because walk on the sidewalk. Wonder what more important can melt the space- time into the self, in order doesn’t be trapped by both, but, compose it inside of the self to become the imprison quality, by the coming of the twilight or even the dawn. The spirit and everything that makes color, the truth is in our selves; this is the location where the space of river water’s flowing are touching each other, jump up and down to climb down the valley of understanding, always nurses around the space- times with high speed, reaches the yearning of doer.

Until now, the theory of secretly is keep flowing, as if I don’t want to be awaked for the whole body, on the yesterday working that is developed. Everything is keep running, walk with strange conviction; the flared up of mysterious seriousness, as if doesn’t know where the purpose exactly. Secretly, silently, the world is running in front of us, and we track the life in the silence of understanding, even though seem talking one another, fighting or more.

Is it true that everything come together with the most intimate leisurely? As if being doubt to decide the way, gets him self in alas gong lewang lewong (very empty forest/ world); opens the anomaly with tottered steps, or gored of matador’s wild ox of Java. The clearly thing is, with stretching in and out, the kite be able to fly high; chance to create the jealous of gravity, and its trick to the air, some kind of description to understand to humanity. Moreover, felt the philosophy of Java that doesn’t extinct by the change of periods; urip mung mampir ngombe (this life just about dropping in to drink), then the logical coincident of God’s lines, print the blue film, the another language of fate.

Some times I feel the mandate of secretly, makes me very exciting, also, similar like most of the writers give their opinion; it is the karma of silent, the stones of curse, or, the hot chili pepper without intermezzo. In silently the kid grows become adult, one by one leave us; the law is running certainly in silent, cuts the times off, clears away another chance, and our time is lulled by, astonished by our self. Enmity, intervention, and affair, suddenly swing the pain, or ask into the grace of love of universe.

Names are embed for the sign, because the ghost of forgotten is ready to drawn the history in anytime, then the thunderous of counting is circulated, disperse off become the carpet of knowledge; the life’s ups and down are stabbed, doesn’t live in the hunger change’s value. Those feeling coagulates on the silently grumble; if income is counted, your breathing is through fast, therefore, get ready to take it from the guardhouse of opinion.

The human being rests in peace silently, only for accumulate the power of wanderer. Is it really at that moment he got the truth of working reality, which doesn’t mean to silently; in fact the cane, the pray of hope, for the dawn is must be drawn. Be in hole in the unclearly when being alone without God; stillness is not silently in peace, but disaster, unstable, dry and become nothing.

Therefore, thank you so much I present to him, the giver of cane of hoping, and the light of pray shine shiny; until the twilight also the dawn, night also day, are stay in bright. As clear as there is nothing changed, in the contrary, inside of it there are thousands enjoyment. Maturnuwon (thanks) become so sure; Jakarta or alas gong lewang lewong are still same, as firm as the water only for the thirsty, the ocean of feeling is not felt, except surrender our self in the working silently by God.

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